You guys…Imma lay it down for you and just be real honest. Sometimes I am absolutely terrified of what I am about to embark on and I feel like I’m stark raving mad for walking away from my career, friends and family to go across the world and tell people about Jesus. Sometimes I look at the amount of money I have to raise and think, who is going to help me do this in 6 months? Do I even know enough people to make this happen? Sometimes I ask God if He is sure He called the right person. Can I do this when even praying aloud makes me start to hyperventilate? Sometimes I think about the food I will eat, the bugs I will encounter and the bathrooms I will be using and feel completely unprepared. I find myself afraid to go in dirty public bathroom stalls or afraid to try new foods and have to laugh at myself, considering the life I’m about to lead. I see how much some of my squad mates have raised and think…I am seriously behind. I have a lot of catching up to do.
And y’all… I know that God is going to provide for me in all ways (financially, spiritually and physically) I KNOW IT… But I am still a Peter. I still look and doubt myself and honestly, if I think about it, I guess I am kind of doubting God too… And that is really painful to admit.
The craziest part is, some of the times I have felt the most unsure are in times that should have been the most reassuring. I sat in a meeting Sunday night with ten wonderful individuals who were interested in helping me with fundraising… And that should have made me feel encouraged.. Instead I felt like I was setting myself up for failure. I can’t explain why, other than it was satan ruining a beautiful moment God gave to show me I wasn’t doing this alone. I am so thankful to have a God that is more than I give Him credit for. I am also thankful to have friends, family and a church family that has been so incredibly supportive.
So far I have sold 22 t-shirts! I am 53 away from my goal of 75. I am speaking to my church family on March 1st and I have a soup lunch fundraiser set up for the 8th. I am incredibly blessed already. I am at about 1,200 with donations and t shirt sales right now, which puts me at around 9% funded. 🙂 I also have a big portion of major equipment I need thanks to some really awesome friends. I have 6 1/2 months to go before I launch. I am praying to be fully funded at that time. Pray for God to open up avenues and possible fundraising opportunities, pray that God lays it upon people’s hearts to give. I am in the unique position that allows me to go… If others were in my position I believe they would too. For those that love missions but are unable to go, supporting is an excellent way to get involved in spreading Gods love and the hope found in Jesus Christ among the nations. You play a role of equal importance to those of us who are able to go. I can’t do it without you. We are in this thing together!
