We’ve all heard the song “Reckless Love” countless of times. We’ve all sung it over and over in church, know the words by heart. However, for me at least, it’s gotten to the point where I don’t truly BELIEVE the words I’m singing with ALL my heart. However, the Lord has been teaching me that those words couldn’t be more true, time and time again.
At the beginning of my race, I was given a key that had a word on it that was prayed over, and my word was “loved”. My first initial thought was “oh no, I already know I’m loved God.” But see hears the funny thing, I didn’t know His love really at all. So, here’s the journey of me discovering what being loved truly means. It all started in Swaziland, when I was doing my college assignment on confession and had to read an article on it. I thought it was going to be about confession of sin, but boy was I wrong. It talked all about how the greatest confession of all is Gods confession of love to us everyday. How he is a jealous God, and He just wants us to look up and see that He is boldly proclaiming His love to us everyday. So much so, that the label he puts on us is “loved”. My entire life, I’ve had labels put on me. I’ve been told I’m quiet, annoying embarrassing, fat, tall, and a lot more not so nice ones that I won’t put in, but you get the point. The world told me I was all these things, and I started to believe them and claim that to be my identity. But the article had said that when the world calls me broken, He calls me loved. That is my identity, is being loved by him. That’s just who I am. He loves me. Why? Because He loves me. Because He loves me. Because He loves me!!! That’s just what He does!!! So, that’s my job. Is to just be loved by Him. He looks at my past and sees nothing, He looks at me and sees someone that He loves. Isn’t that so beautiful???
Then, I was in Nepal. And I was in Gorkha and we hiked for 2 and half hours. Let me tell you, this hike was not easy. It was straight uphill, and then once we got up the mountain, we still had 1,000 stairs to get to our final destination, and your girl was DYING. My body hurt, I was sweating, it was not fun. But then the Lord showed me that He would do this every. single. day. for me. He reminded me of the cross, the He was mocked, beat, spit on, and gave his last breath on the cross, all for me. That was what I deserved, but He loves me SO MUCH that He so humbly come down from his throne as a human, and died for me. He took my sins upon the cross so that I could be free, so that I could be saved, and He loves me so much that He would do it over a million times. LIKE WHAT??? It blows my mind!! That I’m covered in that kind of love!!
Then I was in India, and I every morning I go up to the gazebo and have my quiet time and read my Bible. But, this particular morning the Lord told me to close my eyes before reading, and I did, and I saw a little cartoon in my head. It was of Jesus, climbing to the top of a mountain, and putting a flag on top. And I was really confused, because I didn’t know what it meant. So I was like cool thanks God, but I’m gonna read my Bible now. I was reading Matthew at the time, and I just so happened to reading the parable of the lost sheep that day. I’m going to write it because it’s SO GOOD (and one of my favorite parts of the Bible):
“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine, on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, He rejoices over it more than the ninety-nine that never went astray.” (Matthew 18:12-13) AH I LOVE THIS!! The Lord leaves the ninety nine righteous to find the one who was lost, every single time!! And He REJOICES when they are found!!! Then, I wrote a little note in my bible “you would climb mountains for me!” And it clicked. That was literally what my vision was!
Then He reminded me of the song reckless love again. How the chorus goes, “oh the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of God. Oh it chases me down, fights till I’m found, leaves the ninety nine.” He loves us so much, that he is in constant pursuit of our hearts. He never hesitates to go find you when you’ve wandered too far. He ALWAYS goes!! And he doesn’t care how far we went, or how long we’ve been gone, He just wants us to come home.
With all of this, I’ve learned that if I want to spread His love, I have to fully receive it for myself, and believe that I am who He says I am, which is loved. He looks at me and sees pure beauty, His precious daughter, wholeness, someone who is enough. He looks at my past and sees my brokenness, but keeps no wrongs in mind. His perfect love and blood drowns it all out. So, I’m working on walking in that. By giving myself the grace He gives me, and loving myself because I’m his beautiful creation. By truly believing that I am worthy of the cross, that my identity isn’t what this world calls me, my identity is LOVED. And oh how he LOVES ME!!!
(I just finished writing this blog in this coffee shop, and the second I finished ”Reckless Love” came on. coincidence? I think not)
