This one is a little weird for me to share. It’s a letter to myself. I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t understand what circumstances I might be in when the this letter might really resonate with me but I felt like it was something God put on my heart to write, to have as a reminder. Before I even heard of the race a prayer of mine for years was for God to break me. It sounds really strange but I had such strong tendencies to do everything my way and be in control and my desire is to authentically know and rely on God, fully.
When I heard of the race I felt God pulling me to it and part of me knew that whatever this race holds for me, it was going to be the answer to that prayer.
We have to go through pruning seasons, where God might have to cut some stuff out of our lives and it can honestly really hurt. But by this pruning, by this brokenness, He can grow us in Him and help us to produce more fruit.
This feels weirdly personal even though I don’t know the circumstances of this but I felt like maybe someone else could use a reminder as well.

 

Dear future me,

Who are you called to be?

I hope your heart is full.

I know God has been doing wonderful things in this season.

Even though you’ve felt so much joy and God has been teaching you amazing things, there will be a time when your heart will be broken. It’s going to happen. And when that time comes, if that time is today, and you don’t understand God’s plan and you don’t understand the hurt, and everything seems to be out of your hands… who are you called to be?

 

You’re a daughter of the God of the universe. You’re not a victim. God didn’t create you to be controlled by circumstances. God gave you power. When you feel powerless remember who you are. You’re His. You can’t control everything this world is going to throw at you but you can control how you react. You can control your perspective. And you can choose to love. Love even when it doesn’t make sense. Love when it hurts. Love because He loves you. He loves you, in your brokenness, even though you don’t deserve it and He’s called you to do the same. So love the broken with everything in you, even if it means letting your heart get a little beaten up.

Remembering is important. Goals are important. These are things You’re familiar with, but there’s something so important you so often overlook.

Live in today. Live in this moment. Family, friends, hot showers, familiar foods, clean bathrooms, they’re all going to be at home when you get back. Don’t wish away what God is blessing you with today by keeping your focus on what’s waiting for you. God is so good, he loves you so much that He’s saved you from this broken world and He’s told you to tell others about His goodness. Remember why you’re here. Remember who He’s called you to be. God has asked you to come with Him on this amazing adventure and He isn’t going to leave you. Be courageous, don’t be afraid.

 

Psalm 90

1. Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.

2 Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.

12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

17 And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.

 

Psalm 91 

91 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

 

Rest in Him. Let Him wrap you in His arms. He is the great comforter and He will give you peace when the world is falling apart. You were made with a purpose. Don’t let anything cloud that truth. Exert who God made you to be on everything in your life. God never promised that this would be easy but He did promise He would be with you. He knows your name, and he sees you. He knows every tear that you’ve shed, they don’t go unnoticed. If your earthly parents love you and want the best for you than imagine how much more God loves you and wants to take care of you. Remember. His plans are far greater than the plans you could make for yourself. Have faith. There’s a time to fight and a time to surrender. 

When it comes to God always surrender.