3..2..1.. JUMP!!!
Or in my case
10 minutes of pacing and then 5..4..3..2..1 JUMP!!!
So we have this question we like to ask when getting to know our squad, it goes like this.
“What are your fears? First name a critter, then an irrational fear, and then,” (and this is where it gets good) “your base fear.”
So my irrational fear isn’t actually heights itself, rather it’s always feeling like I’m going to fall from really high places. It doesn’t matter if there is a fence that comes up to my neck. I believe if I get close enough the wind might shift a tiny bit and I’ll somehow just blow right over.
So when me and Brie, a girl from my squad, decided we were going to purposely throw ourselves off a cliff in Greece my fears were basically screaming at me.
Our amazing host told us to get to the cliff we would have to swim to it. I literally freaked just getting into the water because we had to swim over a lot of sea urchins that I just knew were going to find their way into my knee.
Spoiler alert, they actually just suction cup to the bottom and don’t shoot needles at you as you swim by.
So we get to the cliffs and are shown the smallest one. To get to it there’s a tiny rope to pull ourselves up onto a rock where we then proceed to claw our way up to the top, just to be met by our hosts son, Sammy, who did not swim, but walked around.
I would say insert face palm, but it was actually a cool adventure in swimming there.
He was also a gentlemen and said, “ladies first!” As I tried to sneak to the back of the short line.
Brie being crazy fearless made it easier on me by going first but now it was my turn. I stood at the edge and looked over and asked for the 5th time if we were positive there was nothing that was going to impale me. And then I did it. I jumped!
It was so much fun and so freeing and I felt like I had just accomplished something really great!
We walked back laughing and with our heads held high. Our friends were excited for us and decided they wanted to go.
Me being very confident in myself for not only jumping once but twice said, “of course! Let me show you how it’s done!”
The only problem is when we walked back over it wasn’t the few of us facing this tiny cliff. The whole squad had found their way over and was jumping off the cliff that was much larger.
I had been so proud of myself for jumping off this small cliff and while it definitely was scary it was nothing compared to this one.
Okay, being totally honest there was maybe a 6 ft difference but the growth of fear was exponential.
So people are asking me, “Makayla! Are you going to jump?!” And I’m replying, “dang it! I just did!” Now I’m standing 35 feet above water shaking and wondering if I’m stupid for following my friends off a cliff. My fears are screaming at me even louder than before. What were they saying? I’ll show you with pictures.
There’s no turning back now…
Wait… My toe is definitely still touching. Maybe I can change my mind!
Nope… I’m gonna die.
Also, Josh didn’t have a lot of hope for me either.
In all seriousness, more then once this has felt very similar to my relationship with God.
God is so amazing and so often He asks us to take these small leaps of faith that might feel a little scary at first. He so often speaks in a small whisper and lets me know everything’s going to be alright and it’s so intimate and so sweet.
When He asks for another small leap it feels easier because I know He is faithful and He’s not making me do this alone.
Just when I feel like I’ve reached the top and it’s me and God and nothing can stop us and I’m sharing with people and saying “let me show you!” I’m standing in front of crowd a lot higher than before and God is saying, “jump!”
This doesn’t feel intimate. This feels terrifying. I find myself saying, “yeah God… I hear you, but have you looked down?”
But everything that seems so drastically different to us and feels so scary, is only 6 feet to God (okay, so not exactly 6 feet. The point is it’s really small).
The cool thing is, as scary as it is to jump, as soon as I pushed away, as soon as my feet left that rock, I was flying.
And sometimes God will have us flying and sometimes we’re flailing the whole time we fall but no matter what it looks like for us, God is right there with us, ready to catch us.
So my advice to you?
Jump.
