Sunday and Monday have become my designated sick days. A wonderful achy, fever, cough jumble of nonsense descended on my system shortly after we arrived. My team, our contact and plenty of concerned Chinese people have been very kind and shown great care for me. Moreover, God has blessed His little gimp by gleaning fruit from my hobbled efforts.
Truth is sickness had also seeped into my heart. Coming home from our first English Corner I recognized I had some decision making to do. Had I executed? Absolutely. I can walk into a room, make small talk and walk out with numbers; no problem. Had I walked out with as many numbers as I could have. No. Was I sold on my role in this ministry this month. Hum, debatable. Doubt and fear flickered though my mind like an annoying strobe light that just needs to be turned off. Two battles were being waged — one for my body the other for my spirit.
Decision Point:
"Do not call conspiracy everything that these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread." Isaiah 8:12-13
Prior to coming to China I had received plenty of inputs encouraging caution and concern: code words, secret house church meetings, watching for the police, smuggling Bibles, etc. I under estimated the impact of these inputs until I got here. I never once felt anxious in route I only became “fearful” when I was told I need not be. One thing I respect about our contact is their honest perspective.
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The police know we are here
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They broke up a service of ours a few months ago
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Deportation is a risk
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But…We openly tell people we are Christians, we invite them to church, we share the Gospel and hand out Bibles because nothing is more urgent than the Good News.
I did not think I would need to but I had to decide if I was going to let concern for the authorities and what could happen trump Gods plan for my time in China. The above verse was where I found my victory.
Stepping into His plan, the subsequent flood gate of His blessing was so sweet, so refreshing! Though still under the weather, I could honestly feel him carry me though our first party. Exhausted in body and trying desperately not to cough, my spirit was ignited by intriguing conversation with darling Chinese girls teaching me about their culture and beliefs. I gained some key insights that I quickly tucked away to use in one on one interactions. Then, to specifically address my quiet doubt of whether I was a suitable evangelist, I was blessed to help craft the large group bible study for our new “friends”. Thinking through the content of the message showed me just how faithfully God has written His Word on my heart. To my surprise, three of the girls I invited to bible study came and the outcome was an openness by all three to hear about Jesus. One, “because you are my very special friend and I want to listen to you but I don't really care to learn about Jesus” and two, “we'd like to learn more about Jesus and the Bible.” With great respect for her candor, I'll keep working on the former but the latter two bring a kind affirmation from the Lord.
We meet to review and discuss their assigned bible reading tomorrow. Tomorrow also brings party number two after having secured more phone numbers at English Corner on Friday. My hope is these last two days of rest will translate to improved physical health which would parallel the fire in my belly for the Gospel. God is securing the battle for my spirit and I am believing Him for the battle for my body. To be sure He is carrying me and I am most thankful!
My "candid" friend Karen and I flashing our sterotypical Chinese "victory" photo signs.
