Glancing around the room one last time they could see the angst in her eyes. A roll of bread, beans, some rice and a bit of maze. It would be enough. She wouldn't be gone that long. There was water in the jug for the two of them to last a few days. Certainly finding work wouldn't take days? Drawing the door closed behind her their gaze held her. Confusion, hurt, but steadfast trust rippled deep in the chocolate brown pools of her children's eyes. Locking down the welling emotion in her own heart she closed the door, turned the key, and swore she would return; soon…
The first time it happened my initial response was to write it off. But the longer he rested in my arms the more the reality of the moment demanded my attention. I watched the ease with which his little chest rose and fell. The gentle twitching of a body entering into a deep and secure sleep. The sun was warm and lulling but it could not fully account for the peace that clearly spread across his face. I had to give value to the embrace. I had to acknowledge that these arms, my arms, were providing a comfort that though they are my own I did not believe fully they could.
He burst forth from the chapel smiling, running on his little bow legs down the line of willing waiting arms surrounded by happy coo's "Hi Calvin!" Reacting instinctively I swooped him up when he stopped at me and looked up in pointed expectation.
"What's your name?"
"You know my name"
"May-ch-ll"
"Yes, Majil. How are you Calvin?"
He choose me and I promise no one was more surprised than I. By the end of the morning it had happened again and I knew, as his breath slowed and his eyes grew heavy, there was a still small voice at work rewriting my identity in areas I had long left scripted in stone.
Even a small glimpse into his story reveals that the Lord has purpose in mind for this special little boy. He and his brother came to El Shaddai in early 2011. They had been abandon by their mother, locked in their hut. Nicholas, who is five now would have been three and a half or four that the time, kept Calvin and himself alive for as long as he could on the provisions that were left. Then when resources ran out and assistance did not come he crawled out a small window to look for help. By the time help was secured Calvin was so malnourished that his belly was swollen and his legs had taken on an abnormal John Wayne bow legged bend. Now a year later the only external evidence of his plight are his endearing legs. Calvin is a Racer favorite. His laugh is infectious and he oozes with a sweetness that has to be divine.
No one knows what became of their mom. The story is unfortunately common and any number of factors could have detained her: accident, sickness, or pure choice. Regardless, the Lord has his hands on these boys and worked though desperation to bring his beloved sons to a home where they could experience His eternal embrace. He has placed them here, at El Shaddai where they will learn about Him, be fed, be educated, and be instruments for His glory.
How do I know? I know because He has used them to His glory while re-writing my story. To speak over my life correction to lies. To invade dark recesses thick with false identity and show me I am good company. That my embrace holds just as much love and grace and peace as all the women around me who I defer to when it comes to kids. Moreover, He has reminded how he yearns to be the one I turn to. That on a sunny day or in chapel after a restless night, I can turn to my Lord, my Abba and rest in His embrace. To listen almost absently to the prayers He desires to whisper over me. Of how precious I am. How I am a treasure. That there is purpose for my life…dreams to chase and love to know.
