Upon arrival in the Philippines I experienced the worst episode of kankles I can recollect. In effort to avoid a repeat episode upon arrival in South Africa I have conjured up a rather reasonable solution.
Utilizing my blessed height advantage I fold myself in two and prop my feet up on the airplane seat in front of me and let all the blood flow out until my feel fall asleep. Brilliant right. Wrong.
Somewhere over the Indian Ocean I made an awesome play list of songs off the in-flight jukebox and, because I have potentially slipped into delirium because I cannot sleep, decided I'd record my feet dancing.
“Out take footage, it will be great!”
It has been a somewhat turbulent flight and in all my excitement I forgot about little glass of water I didn't finish that I placed on my team mates tray be side me. I was sure they would not mind as they are bobbing away in sandman land (jealous!).
Well, the plane sort of shifted left and the cup shifted right and guess who got a nice cold shot to the left butt cheek and upper thigh.
You know how in the safety demonstrations we all ignore there is something about your seat cushion having the dual purpose of flotation device; let us explore the downside of that feature. Not only do I have a perfectly placed initial wet shot I now have a chair that is non-absorbent and a pool of water building just awaiting something to wick it up. The good news is I am wearing my nifty, quick dry zip off short/pants from REI. The bad news is my feet are still up in the air so there is only so much surface area available on the pant. Leaving my cotton underwear to finish the job. Awesome.
Suppressing my laughter because most of the rest of the plane was asleep, I scramble out of my seat (by God grace I was on the aisle) and set off to dash to the bathroom to get some paper towels.
New friend #1 – The rick-a-shay only hit him once, I hope, but it definitely startled us both. Note to self, next time you sprint to the back of the plane remove the headphones from your head that are still cranking tunes from your random play list as these can sting when they whiplash into the gentlemen who is sitting behind you as you go flying past. Sorry sir.
New friend #2 – Okay, so I wasn't the only one awake and as my already to be envied luck would have it the four bathrooms closest to my seat were all full. Left to my own devices I started shaking my pants to at least expedite the drying process. My not so subtile antics caught the attention of a very witty South African woman dressed in traditional garb.
“What are you doing?”
Hum, just exactly how am I going to explain this…
“I spilled.”
You spilled? Really Majil, how exactly does one “spill” on their backside?
“You should get a hair dryer and blow dry yourself off – there is an outlet just here.”
A truly great idea. Let me just run back to my seat and grab my carry on hair dryer. Seriously, my dear, my carry on isn't that big moreover I haven't used a hair dryer since September!
“That is a great idea, alas, I am without a hair dryer so I'm just going to try and air dry.”
“Oh, well you are doing a good job shaking. You are all ready to dance in Africa!”
At this I burst out laughing and the plane jumped in on the fun. With an awesome series of shifts up, down and all around I put the women in stitches with my air surfing skills. I encourage you to try it when next you fly. There is a reason they turn the fasten seat belt sign on; otherwise, everyone would be in the aisle trying to stay erect while the floor drops out from under you. No lie, I could see it being the next Olympic event. It is challenging. I have a whole new appreciation for flight attendants ability to keep their cool; I just giggled incessantly.
My pants are now dry. The cotton and my seat are working on it. And, I took a picture for you to share this moment. Once I can get to my camera cord (yep, I got a new one!) I'll upload the visual. Oh, and yes, I did first make sure there were no rogue cups of water around.
Travel day from Asia to Africa on the WR is in full swing (while all this was going down we passed over the Equator). Sending smiles to you all from just off the coast of Madagascar and hopefully generating a few!
PS: Kankles status outstanding – so far so good – I'll keep you posted.
