So for those of you who aren’t already aware, I am back in Mae Ai, the same town that we stayed at in December. We are still doing the same ministry, teaching English at a K-8 school, and to be honest I was pretty disappointed in our placement. It felt like we were stepping back into a place we had already moved on from, and I was very caught up in the hardships and lack of fruit that made the first time in Mae Ai difficult. Although I am fully aware we might not always experience visible fruit in ministry, the way that it can wear on your soul is very real. I didn’t want to go back to that.
A few days ago my team and I were walking back from a worship session during a beautiful sunset, and I was struck with a very strange feeling or sight. It wasn’t exactly a vision, but it was more than just a feeling or thought. It was like the earth we were walking on was saturated in darkness and sadness, but as we were praising God’s name I felt lighter, like the earth was starting to become futile again. Sure, we are surrounded by people who have worshiped false gods for countless generations, and everywhere you look they stand glorified in statues, posters, songs, and symbols, but as we were singing it was being chipped away at.
In Thailand buddhism isn’t just a religion; it’s a culture, a way of life. To leave that means forsaking everything you’ve ever been taught about the world and risking being disowned by your family, friends, and community. My point is, people aren’t open to Christianity, and although they might listen to what we believe, they see it as ‘our’ thing, our truth, not theirs. It would be difficult to lead someone to Christ without forming a deep relationship, and those just don’t happen in a month. Not that throwing seeds isn’t important, because they could begin to open their hearts, and maybe God will call us to be that person who is there when they are ready to truly accept him, but it’s not to be expected.
I felt resigned to another month of maybe getting the chance to throw some seeds on seemingly rock hard ground, but then I realized I was limiting God based on my own limitations. Yes, I can’t speak Thai, and they can’t speak English. Yes, I can’t come up to strangers and expect anything besides a polite rejection. Yes, on the surface there is nothing I can do to make a difference in this town. I am nothing next to language barriers and a culture of iron walls and fixed beliefs. But God is so much powerful than any of that, and I would be a fool to deny the importance and power of spiritual warfare.
As well as pouring into our ministry host and asking God for opportunity, I plan to begin to do prayer walks around our school and community. The very touch of Jesus’s clothing healed people, and I believe that by portraying His image in a barren land will also bring healing of a spiritual kind. God has always been in Mae Ai, always seeking the hearts of each and every person, and He will be working long after I have left, and for this short time He has invited me to partner with Him. Who am I to say there is no ministry for me here?
