28And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”—Matthew 14:28-31
Aw, Peter! You were doing so well—what happened? Here’s what happened: he took his eyes off the Lord. He forgot the reason why he could walk among the waves.
I have always been captivated by the story about Peter and how he walked on the water. However I never thought that it would relate to me as much as does now. The first few months after getting accepted on The World Race were full of excitement and joy. I was on the boat, and heard Jesus calling me to take a step out , to step onto the water. And I did, I had nothing holding me back. But as time progressed, I found myself slowing sinking. The Devil started throwing every wave he could at me. And instead of keeping my eyes on Jesus, on who He is, I started looking around me. I started thinking about the things I have to give up I order to go on this trip. Please understand that this trip is an adventure of a lifetime and an amazing opportunity, but it also requires a lot of sacrifices. I started to think about leaving my family, about leaving my friends. Leaving the people who I am the closest to. Those people who you know you can come to in any situation and open your wounded heart to them. My heart is breaking thinking about and preparing to leave them, even if it is only for nine months. And even though I don’t like to acknowledge it, the Devil knows what gets me. He knows my weaknesses and my open wounds. He he has no problem driving a wedge into those parts of me. I looked down at the waves, and I started to sink.
The Devil brought out every doubt to the surface. I began to think about fundraising, and the absolute craziness of the amount I have to raise. I started to sink more. I began doubting God’s choice in choosing me to do this. “There is no way that I can do this. He made a mistake. What if I don’t know what to say or do? I started to sink more and more. There are a lot of emotions I have come across preparing for this trip that I wasn’t expecting. Before I knew it, I was drowning in fear and doubts. But doubting myself was also doubting God’s calling for my life. See the problem? I was drowning and I was doubting the only one who could could pull me out of the waves
If you have ever been to the ocean, you have probably experienced getting overtaken by some unexpected waves. Caleb loves to tell the story of how he almost “died” because he got thrown around in the waves and was almost pulled out into the sea. At least that’s what he claims. He also said that a flounder was crawling toward him trying to kill him…..but that’s beside the point. But just like Caleb, I was overtaken by unexpected waves, and almost pulled out to sea. Throughout our lives we face waves, some big and some small. But every once in awhile there are those waves, those situations that catch us off guard. In a moment we are thrown into a battle of catching our breath, gasping for air. The devil sent some very strong and unexpected waves my way. Sickness, fear, doubts, hesitation, etc. I wasn’t just sinking, I was drowning. Each one of these waves brought me farther from the shore into the ocean. They brought me farther from God into a sea of unknown.I knew I needed to find my way back, to be rescued. I am nothing without God.
So I stopped wrestling with the waves, and I waited for my rescuer to come. Surrendering my doubts and fears to Him. One of my biggest problems was that I was trying to beat these waves on my own. I thought that I could tackle my doubts on my own. I thought I could tackle my fears on my own. I thought that could take fundraising into my own hands, I mean all I need to do is add a sparkle to these support letters and I’ll be good right? But the more I fought on my own, I sank. I was angry, these problems, these “waves” weren’t part of the bargain. Why aren’t you helping me, why are you letting me drown? But He stopped my and reminded me I never asked. I was drowning in these waves and I never asked the God who controls the wind and the waves to take over. All I had to do was call out to Him and give him control. We are so used to pretending that we are okay, I started to put that front up with God. Not coming to him when things got stressful or when I was weighed down with fear.
See the trick on walking on water, isn’t never looking down. Sometimes you have to look down in order to take you next step. The trick is to look back up. Recognize that the waves are there, but choose to look back up and set your eyes on the Captain of your life. I know that The World Race will not just change the lives of those who I get to help, but also my life. I know this because I already have experienced it. Witnessing how generous and giving everyone is, is overwhelming. I can’t do this by myself. I need YOU to be a part of my story. Whether it is through financial support or through your encouragement and prayers. I am asking you to step out of the boat with me.
God is greater than any fear I have. God is bigger than any doubt I have. He is more powerful than any wave trying to overcome me. And His purpose is better than anything I could try and come up with. He is faithful and ever present. His love is overwhelming. My heart aches for those who don’t know the truth. For those who have drowned and never heard of their rescuer. For those who have no hope. I want to bring them the same hope and love that God has surrounded me with. And that is exactly what I get a chance to do through The World Race starting this September, 2017.
