when one thinks of the world race, or mission trips in general, they usually picture missionaries playing with children, doing arts and crafts, building something with their hands for people who aren’t able to, or something more along the lines of smiles and seeing Jesus everywhere they look.
i’m gonna let yall in on a little secret that i’ve realized: when the Lord chooses you to surrender your life for missions, you don’t get to choose what those missions look like.
paint this picture in your head –
a room in a brick house with cement floors, only a little bit of natural lighting, five or six chairs in abstract places along the walls, and a staticky television. this is the room that my new friends Juan Carlos, Julio, Silverio, Roni, and Muneco sit in…day in and day out.
this month, my whole squad of 36 people is serving at an orphanage for disabled adults in valle de angeles, honduras. it isn’t quite what any of us expected, for my team especially.
the house of adults that my team specifically serves is full of mainly unresponsive, nonverbal, mentally and physically impaired men. we thought going in to this that we could speak with them and make them smile, tell them little jokes, and love on them and it would be easy!… then we realized we don’t speak spanish, and they don’t speak english.
breaking these men has been, and continues to be, a huge challenge. we want more than anything for them to feel loved, known, heard, seen, and like they are worth something. considering they have lived in this home with no family their entire lives, they must be longing to be loved and known…to a point that we can’t possibly even imagine. their hearts are precious, and they deserve to be treated as so.
it’s been a week serving them now, and it still feels so frustrating. like we aren’t making a difference. i feel defeated.
God, why are we here?
where are You in this place?
how are we supposed to serve these men?
what can we do to reach these men and their hearts and souls?
WHY did you make these people this way?
if you’re so good, why do things like this happen?
these are constant thoughts within my head during ministry and when contemplating this ministry. it’s frustrating and it’s hard.
but this morning through a few conversations, i had a revelation:
these men and women in the orphanage may have never had something constant. even if it feels like we are doing nothing for them because they can’t communicate that to us, doesn’t mean that we aren’t making an impact. just by sitting with Roni in his wheelchair for a few hours, patting his back, wiping his mouth, blessing him when he sneezes, or squeezing Silverio’s hand when he reaches for us and then pushes us away, or dancing ridiculously just to make Muneco laugh for once – it’s all worth it.
we have to choose to see the Kingdom in situations like this. it isn’t easy to look around and see Jesus; it’s easy to look around and be disheartened that the sin of the world has caused this sort of chaos to happen. but it isn’t their fault, and the only thing we can do about it is show the Father’s love to them. that is all we are called to do – to love.
if for one whole month i am called to sit and be still with disabled men who i cannot communicate with verbally, then i will do so. i will communicate with them by smiling at them, praying silently for them, looking them in the eyes, squeezing their hand when they need it, allowing them to walk upright instead of on their knees by holding their hands on a walk, or putting my hand on their back for them to know “i’m here for you”.
the only thing these men and women have known in their life is rejection. if anything at all, i want to change that. i want them to feel loved and known and accepted through Christ by the way that i am able to love them.
with all of that being said, this ministry is not what i signed up for, or expected, in any way, shape, or form. but that doesn’t mean that that isn’t what the Lord called me to. he indeed called me here to learn something and to teach someone else something out of this. i can’t doubt the Father or His goodness. so whether it was expected or not, this is my ministry and how i will serve the Lord this month – with a full heart and persevering spirit, seeking the Lord every second.
please keep my team and my squad in your prayers for the month of November as we continue to serve the men and women of valle de angeles and show them the love they may or may not have ever received before.
much love from the valley of angels, mags.
