So, for the past couple of weeks I have been wrapped up in the middle of an identity crisis. My vision was cloudy and my head was in the fog. I couldn’t figure out who I was. I couldn’t tell you many things about myself. I was confused and lost and trying to figure out who I am in the Father, but having a hard time because I was holding onto the things that are of the world. I attempted to write 3 different blogs describing my identity crisis, but ended up deleting them all because they were just mumble jumble. Today, the Lord gave me clarity and I am so excited to tell you all about it.
I’m not sure when all of this hit me straight over the head, but all of a sudden it was everything I thought about. I couldn’t figure out who I was. I was trying to look to things of this world to figure out how to define myself. I was asking the Lord to reveal to me who I am, but I was being impatient with him and was not satisfied with how he was making me wait. I see now that he truly was making me wait on his timing, but in the moment all I felt was frustration and even more confusion. I couldn’t tell you what made me myself and I really couldn’t tell you simple facts about myself. I was so hung up on figuring out these parts of me that I was missing the Lord’s hand in my confusion. I sat with this for a couple of weeks. Every time I sat down to have quiet time with the Lord, I would beg him to explain to me who I am in him. My heart was in the right place, but my mind was so caught up figuring out the definitions that the world had for me. I didn’t understand the difference. I didn’t realize that I was looking to the world to define me.
Today, all of the pieces came together. Today we sat in a session with a group of people from an organization similar to the World Race called Global Challenge. To be honest, I was very neutral to this session. I wasn’t excited about it but I wasn’t dreading it. I thought it was a cool opportunity but I still wasn’t stoked about it. The woman who was speaking got up to speak and opened saying that she was going to talk about identity. At that moment, I felt so many emotions. I have heard plenty of talks about identity before so part of me responded with “ugh not another talk on identity.” At the same time, though, I had been asking the Father to reveal my identity to me for a couple of weeks now. So another part of me was very excited for what was potentially to come. Gosh, did the Father absolutely wreck my world through the talk today. Everything that was said spoke directly to my soul. It gave me a new eyes and a brand new perspective, a renewal of my mind.
I’m going to run through some of the points that were made today; hopefully I can depict some of the power that the Father instilled in my being today!
We started by walking through Ephesians 2:1-10. If you have never taken the time to sit with the Lord through this section of Ephesians, I HIGHLY encourage it. I’ve heard these verses many time before, but wow walking through it piece by piece today wrecked me. The very first verse talks about how we were dead. Dead means no breath, not living, a corpse. Following the ways of the world leads us to death and dry bones. The ways of the world include things such as fleshly desires (getting whatever we want whenever we want simply because we want), desires of the eyes (comparison and longing to be someone or something we aren’t), and pride. All of these are found in 1 John 2. These “ways of the world” came into being when Satan promised Adam and Eve in the garden that we would become like God if we ate of the forbidden fruit, Satan promised us power and we seek power through our fleshly desires and the desires of our eyes. But Satan is completely not able to think up new things, all he does is twist truth and shadow what the Father has taught us. When we allow the world define us and when we seek our identity through the ways of the world, we will be seeking lies. Satan tries to attack us through our senses, for they are doorways, and when we give him a foothold, all of the truth we seek will be distorted.
Ok this is where all of the pieces started to come together for me. Ephesians starts by explaining that we were dead. The woman speaking spit absolute truth and explained that Jesus died for me when I was dead. That! Is! Grace! His blood that was shed is more than enough to cover all of me. I didn’t do anything for him to give his life for me; I was dead! Dry bones! Not breathing! Yet my God gave his life for me. His blood is my victory. His blood has covered me. This is truth. This is pure, undistorted truth straight from the Father. Romans 5:8-9 says “But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. Much more surely then, now that we have been justified by his blood, we will be saved through him.” He justified me when he died for me. Wow, the truth of it! But here is when our identity gets lost. The blood of Christ has saved me, but the world tells me that I am the one with the power, that he has given me righteousness but I think that the righteousness belongs to me. I start walking in my own ways because I think righteousness is mine to hold. Ephesians 2:8-9, “this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God.” It is a gift that we walk in!! But it is not mine to claim, it is not my doing. Father remind me of this every time I begin to claim my own righteousness for that gives Satan the right to accuse me and enter into my heart.
If we continue on in Ephesians, verses 4-6, Father seats me in heavenly places with him. He saves me and he seats me right next to him. THAT is my identity. He seats me right next to him and he calls me a princess, a daughter of the highest king. My identity is not found in the things I like to do or the foods I like to eat or anything that anyone else could say about me. It’s crazy that we give people who don’t know their own identity the power to define us. He gives us sonship/daughtership to HIS kingdom, we inherit all that Jesus inherits because we belong to him. We are chosen! We are heirs to the throne of the Father! I don’t know about you, but that wrecks everything I have ever known! I have been searching and searching for my identity in this world. But we are not of this world! Sure, we live in it, but we are NOT of it. We are seated in heavenly places right next the Jesus Christ whose blood covers and protects us from the ways of the world. THAT is your identity, that is my identity.
I’m praying for you! If you have any specific prayer requests, please shoot me an email or text. I would love to walk alongside you as you find out who you are in Christ Jesus.
Also, for those of you who don’t know, I am FULLY FUNDED! Thank you so much for all the prayer and donations.
