A week ago was my team’s last day of ministry on the Race. I gave the message in our church in Albania that day. I talked about how the kind of love God calls us to takes strength. I read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 and talked about how when we are weak, than we are strong. I encouraged the church to love in new, radical ways by relying on the Lord for the strength it takes and by resting in the overwhelming love He already has for them.
As I’m writing this, I’m sitting on a plane, officially on my way home.
I’m terrified.
I’ve been a missionary for 9 months for the sole purpose of loving people, yet it feels so scary to go home to love the people I’ve known all my life. I’m scared of failing my siblings & my friends & my parents. I’m scared I will go home and all the ways I’ve grown will fade away and will be non evident to those around me. I’m scared I will be too overwhelmed to function well. I’m scared of not meeting people’s expectations.
As my eyes are welling up sitting in all these fears, I almost tangibly feel Jesus reach out for my hand. In my mind, I see His eyes so full of love. I hear that small whisper in my soul. “I will give you the strength to love,” He says. “When you are weak, then you are strong.” The words I spoke to others last week come flooding back to me and penetrate my heart.
Despite all the nerves I feel about coming home to such a familiar, yet unfamiliar place, my Father is giving me rest in His promises. He’s the One that has lead me all the way around the world, not leaving my side for a single second, and I know He’s not going to abandon me now. He’s leading me home.
So I am embracing my weakness. Embracing the failures I know I will face. Because the Lord’s grace is sufficient for me. His power will be made perfect in my weakness.
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Just as I finished typing this post the verse of the day from the Bible app popped up:
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.””
?Isaiah? ?41:13? ?
The Lord always knows how to make me feel so seen and loved. I can’t wait for this next season with Him!
