I know Jesus is calling me to something when I don’t want to do it. When it makes me uncomfortable or pushes me as far away from my comfort zone as possible.
Its how our relationship has always worked.
Choosing to go on the Race was something that I struggled with so much because I did not want to go on it. Sure I thought it would be excited and at first I was really pumped to go but when you sit down and think about what leaving for 11 months is, what dying to yourself and living in community for 11 months is, it’s a daunting notion and I didn’t think I would be capable of doing it.
The more I pushed in my heels and got nervous and wanted to change my mind, the more I knew that the Race was something God was calling me to. I knew He wanted me to grow and I knew that the only thing I could do was say yes.
Now being on the Race I am so thankful to have heard God’s call and followed Him on the Race. Even after only three months it has been an experience that I wouldnt trade for the world. I have learned so much about myself and about who God is and who I am in Him.
India has been like that too.
I know that many people on my squad chose our route because India was on it. I chose our route despite the fact that India was on it.
I didn’t want to go.
I worried about getting sick, I have never liked Indian food, I was nervous about how hot it would be and what ministry we would have and it just wasn’t a country I was excited to go to at all.
And like always I knew that God was calling me specifically to India. I had a sneaking suspicion that no matter how much I thought I would hate India that God would end up changing my mind.
Sure enough, as soon as we landed I felt a sense of peace and excitement about being in India. I wasn’t worried about getting sick anymore, I wasn’t nervous about the food or the heat, and I was so excited to be able to work at Sarah’s Covenant Homes with kids who really just need to be loved on.
This month has been amazing. The kids have such cute personalities and sweet spirits. I have loved getting to know them and love on them even if its only for a month. I have been fascinated with the culture, the smells, random cows in the street, the head bobbling, its all so different from our own culture.
I can look back on my spiritual journey and see how the things God calls me to always make me uncomfortable. I don’t want to do them, I worry and fret and wish I could stay in my comfortable bubble that I built myself.
But I say yes anyway. And I am always proved wrong. What God calls me to has ALWAYS been better than my safe bubble, ALWAYS worth being uncomfortable and strange.
As I continue on this Race I want to hear what God is calling me to, and rather than fight against it, embrace what He wants because He has proven that its worth it to trust Him. Its worth it to be uncomfortable because that it where He meets us.
