First I want to say to members of my family that I did not forget about your special days this past month i just forgot to post them on my last blog…Kerry congradulations on getting married! Erica and Nathan, happy anniversary. And Tyson and Amanda happy birthday!
Now that I am in Thailand I wanted to share with you a little about what India was like. Our entire squad stayed in one house where the electricity went out daily sometimes several times a day and this is not convenient when it is seriously hot outside hence we called it the Hot House. We had gross food daily therefore I limited myself for most of the month to one meal a day simply because I can no longer eat the regular BPand J or bread or eggs or ramen…I would rather starve. And since this was the month where we joined with the squad again about several months of being apart the transition to living in a large community again was difficult….no person space, no quiet time, and lots of action everywhere you go. I say all these things in the beginning not because they are highlights of India but because they are the easiest to talk about, to write about. And honestly regardless of all these things which made our lives more difficult (and others I have not mentioned) India was good and the trouble we (I) actually faced was not in the heat or the conditions of our surroundings….its never really about that its about the struggle within ourselves that makes this trip so hard and I am so thankful for every crappy moment, every tear, every stuggle because all it does is refine me…this is what the race is all about refinement.
As you know we had our hands on all types of ministry…my focus was on the orphanage. Though I wanted to try out other ministries me being sick for 7 days put all of that on hold and kept me in one place…which is all in all fine with me. So we taught the kids daily about the Lord and had a great time playing ball (or me getting hit by them) each day. We took it upon us to paint their walls with all we taught them over the month, to provide fans for them, to have parties with them and give them some leisure time with Finding Nemo and popcorn (the kids loved that). One thing is for sure those kids have a hold on you the moment you walk in.
The first two weeks of India like I said I struggled with regrouping back with the squad. I found that I couldnt get away, there was no resting place. But welcome to the worldrace! Then I found myself sick…not fun in the heat and very boring. I also found it hard to hear Gods voice. The words I would read each day meant nothing to me. I found myself questioning God about certain things and not letting faith and trust and I dont have to know be good enough answers for me. I struggled with my pride and humbling myself before people I loved. I even found it hard at times to offer grace. Inwardly I was struggling. Honestly at the time I didnt know I was struggling as much as I was. But at th end of the day (or the month) I loved those around me enough to take time to be with them and appreciate them, I could discern Gods voice over everyone elses, I took the steps to humble myself before those I loved and ask for forgiveness and offer them grace. And I found that regardless of what I can question about God one thing I can never deny is His love. It is perfect. It is always offered to me. It is in every way the healing power to all men, in all places, in all situations. God is love fully and forever, never changing.
Being refined…sometimes painful, always worth it.
