4 Months After the Race

I was (am) a January ’08 Worldracer and four months after finishing my race God is still taking me places I have never been even though my address has not changed.  I was thinking to myself earlier, “Am I better off because I went on the worldrace?” and in many ways I am because God dealt with me on some issues I was unwilling to face.  So He took me away for a little while so I could stare my unwilling heart in the face and look deep into what I have known for years….my imperfections, my poor ability to balance out my life, my people-pleasing, my inability to say “no”, my lack of rest while juggling life and trying to bring truth to people when I wasn’t filling up myself, the rediculous lies I believed from year to year and simply trying to do it all without God.  Um, it’s funny….all God wanted to do all these years was purify me and for some unknown reason I kept burying those issues He was always so gently bringing to the surface.  Do I reget having to be taken out?  Absolutely not!  I am better for it and my heart has always been on going.  But I look back and think of myself as so silly for not wanting change.  Now the question is, have I learned my lesson?  will I continue to allow change in my life when needed?  I sure hope so because the other side of being purified is beautiful.  Now there is NO DOUBT that being purified and confronted and looking at all your imperfections is not easy!  It’s a hard road to travel down especially without any comfort whatsoever in your life…but if the comforts weren’t taken away I would have kept covering up what I knew I had to deal with with luxury and the comfort and distractions around me.  I am so thankful to have been taken out….I will need to be taken out again because there is still more purifing to take place but until (worldracers can hear me well here) I miss having nothing and being limited, I miss the challenges, I miss our community and our fellowship, I have even missed my tent and sleeping bag.