I am currently sitting in a hostel in Chiang Mai, Thailand where it is 11:17pm as I write this. Today has been one of the longest days on the race for me, and definitely the most unexpected. Today I woke up at the children’s home my team was working at in Chiang Dao and was faced with the devastating news that due to the unknowns of border closings & in the interest of our safety surrounding the Coronavirus, my squad will be heading home to the US this week.
It’s been a long day. I’ve cried a lot today. I’ve been angry. At god. At the Coronavirus. At the timing of it all. I’ve said goodbyes. I’ve packed up my life once again & tried to wrap my mind around what going home right now even looks like for me. I’ve been tempted to dwell on the reality that living in asia for 2 more months, that finishing this 9 month commitment I’ve made, has been taken away from me.
But I know I can’t let frustration win.
I am heartbroken that I have to head home so soon. So unexpectedly. But I know that I’d much rather hold tight to the realities of these past 7 months instead of the unknowns of these next 2.
I get to hold tight to these past 7 months. The best 7 months of my life. The hardest 7 months of my life. The most growth I’ve ever had in my life. I get to hold tight to the friendships I’ve made in every country & the ones on my squad that I know will stick with me for the rest of my life. I get to remember the ways the Lord showed up this year. I get to hold onto God’s promises, and I get to choose to let the truth of this year give me hope for my future.
This week is going to be crazy. Tomorrow morning we fly to LAX where we’ll spend a few days debriefing this year as a squad. From there I’ll go home. I have no idea what more I’m gonna learn or how transitioning home is gonna be.
I’m clinging tight to hope that God is still good through all of this mess.
Of course, prayers for my squad & I travel as we travel & transition home would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your constant support & love for me through this whole season. I appreciate it more than you know.
Until next time,
~mae
