So, what happened at Training Camp???
I’m so glad you asked! Personally, I went into Training Camp scared to death with no idea of what to expect except for God to move. What I didn’t realize was just how much God would move. I didn’t realize how much He could tear down and rebuild and bring together so beautifully in a matter of 10 days (for future reference: don’t underestimate Abba).
As hard as it is for me to admit, I cried myself to sleep the first night. I wanted to go back home. I felt like I had already left for nine months, and I hated it because I felt utterly alone. Little did I know, there were multiple people tucked into their tents that night feeling the same way.
The second day (and even the rest of the time) was a lot of getting acclimated to letting the Holy Spirit actually move. As I told a squad-mate later in the week, for so long I was ready for God to break me and rebuild me and use me and stretch me since I feel like so many people tend to put God into this box. They aren’t completely shutting God out, but they aren’t completely letting Him in and letting Him have His way in their lives either. However, I never thought I put God in a box myself. I didn’t put God in a “Sunday box” or a “Sunday Wednesday box” or a “Sunday Wednesday and when I’m around certain people box,” but I definitely put Him in a box all of my own. Boxes come in all shapes and sizes, so just because yours doesn’t look like someone else’s doesn’t mean you haven’t built one.
The second night of worship was pretty overwhelming. God began then to break down the walls of this box I didn’t even realize I had built. I’m in worship. Singing. Praising. In the back of my head, I was just praying about my fears and how scared I was to leave home. Why did You call me to this God? Did you even call me to this? Are you sure? Why did you send me here with all these people to feel so alone? Why do I have to leave my family? As I was praying, a random man (I had no idea who he was and he had no idea who I was) walked up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders and said something to the tune of the following “The Lord is giving me the word “peace” to pray over you right now. “Father, let her know that You called her here for a reason and that she’s not here by chance or mistake. Help her to take comfort in You. I know it’s going to be hard because she’s going to have to leave her family and everything she knows, but we know the cost of following You and that it is worth it. I see her standing on this beach. She’s built this sandcastle up around her trying to protect herself, but the tide is coming in. Your wave of peace is coming to take that down. I see her running for You, Father. I see her running into the wave of Your peace; she’s just scared. Just crash your wave of peace over her right now. In Your Son’s name I pray, Amen.” Just let the wave of His peace crash over you.” As I stood in awe with tears streaming down my face, I honestly didn’t know what to make of the situation. How did he know that about me? This is freaky, God. What’s wrong with these people? He doesn’t even know me!!!
After some thought I finally came to the conclusion that that man really didn’t know anything about me. He didn’t know my fears. He couldn’t read my mind. He had no clue what I was praying to God in that moment. However, the Holy Spirit did and that man simply chose to listen to the Holy Spirit telling him to go over there and pray that over me. There’s no other way he could have known except by the Holy Spirit.
I was then able to see the walls I had built and tried to put God in. I felt like I almost cut out the third part of the Trinity – the Holy Spirit. How could I have tried to place that experience on anything except the fact that it was the Holy Spirit? I tried to limit God to a reason or foreknowledge of a person. And that’s where we have to be careful. We sing the song Holy Spirit a lot that says “Holy Spirit, you are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atmosphere.” The truth is that we shouldn’t have to welcome the Holy Spirit. If we have Jesus, we have the Holy Spirit, and we should know that and let Him move freely instead of trying to give Him permission occasionally when the setting is right. So, I began to pray for God to remove those walls that night. And, wow, was He ready and eager to tear them down!
Another thing God spoke loudly to me at training camp was that there really is a cost to discipleship – it’s not just a good sermon to hear. If you’re doing what God calls you to right, it’s going. to. cost. you. something. It’s not easy. In Luke chapter 9 (not so ironically under the heading “The Cost of Following Jesus”), Jesus called two random men on the side of the road to follow Him. One guy said, “I’ll follow you, Lord, but let me first go and bury my father.” His FATHER!! You know what Jesus said? “Let the dead bury themselves and you go and proclaim the kingdom of God!” And then the other guy said “I’ll follow you, but let me go and say goodbye to my family first.” Jesus said, “Anyone who puts their hand to the plow and looks back isn’t fit for the kingdom of God.” Was Jesus a bully? By no means!! Jesus wanted them to understand the urgency and weight of the Gospel message. He wanted them to know He was worth it. He wanted them to follow Him with no walls and without putting Him in a box that was convenient for them. He was about to go to the cross for them and for us. What is all of that in comparison?
God taught me so much and is still continuing to. Each day, God has brought our new family and community closer. He gave me a squad of 38 people who each bring something different and beautiful to the table, and He has also provided such comfort and understanding through them. He gave me a second family. He gave me a tribe. I am not alone, and the enemy can NOT tell me that lie anymore!! Training camp was a hard, yet rewarding, experience! God spoke through so many leaders to give us just what we needed to prepare us for the field. He gave us community and love. He tore down the walls of our boxes and left us with a “yes” in our spirits. I already miss my new family and cannot wait to take off for Thailand with them in just seven short weeks!!! I covet your prayers always!
Love in Christ,
Maeci
