I think most of my worries associated with going home have to deal with me not feeling understood by the people around me. I know I have changed a ton this year, and I know not everyone at home will have gone through as much life change as I have and that’s okay. But I am worried about things feeling totally the same at home, like I just pressed paused traveled the world real quick went through some life altering stuff then pressed play again. And I know that might not be fair to assume that nothing or no one at home has changed much, but it might just be true and I gotta be okay with that. I think what might be frustrating to me is knowing that I have changed a lot but not knowing how to express that or explain to people, especially people that don’t ask questions. And that’s fine I’m not expecting to sit down with everyone in my life and run through everything that happened on the World Race, but I do want people to understand that I’m not the same person I was when I left the US 11 months ago, although I may look like it.
So here’s my attempt to give people a little hack sheet on what I think I might need or want when I’m home. I just don’t wanna feel misunderstood that’s all, its kinda one of my least favorite feelings.
- Ask me questions! They don’t have to be good or big questions either, just any questions I’ll gladly welcome. It’ll be good for me to continually recall everything that I experienced this past year.
- If I say I’m feeling off or sad or whatever or I just express how different I feel that’s not necessarily an invitation for you to give me advice on how I should cheer up or get over it- I probably just need to spend time with Jesus to figure out what’s going on in my head, or just let me verbally process why I think I’m feeling some type of way
- If I repeatedly say “you wouldn’t understand, you weren’t there” or anything along those lines, encourage me to explain why I’m saying that, I am a verbally processor I need it
- Encourage me to talk to my squad! I know I need them, we might not all have had the same race but those are people I know I’ll miss a ton and will understand things that people at home won’t
- Sometimes I might just need someone to listen, I might be overwhelmed with home, or American culture and I might just need to talk things out. I usually come to my own conclusions once I just verbally process with someone, I might just not know what it is until I open my mouth
- Yes, my bank account might look pretty scarce for a while after the race, and yes I have every intention of starting working again and online school again, but for real free events will be my favorite for quite a while- every cent I spent this year I fundraised
- I don’t specifically know what I want to do with “my life” after the race and that question probably won’t be the best one to ask me right after I get home. Let me rest and process first please, I do have plans I promise, but they’re all just ideas right now. I wanna do what God wants me to do first and foremost.
- I will miss traveling and will need to go on adventures even at home. Please just invite me on any type of adventure small or big, it’ll be a matter of time before the travel bug bites me again, and a matter of hours at home before I get restless.
- Hugs. I need hugs. That’s all.
- I need to continue to grow and remember my current growth, so keep asking me questions or encourage me to write or talk it out! Or listen to an encouraging message or something, I just gotta keep learning and growing!
- I’m sorry if I ignore you when you talk, I’ve unconsciously learned to drown out others conversations or voices all year just being around so many different languages. Being around pretty much all English speakers will be weird and possibly overwhelming.
- If big life events happened this year for you, tell me about them! I wanna hear all about your change too! Seriously!!
- If there’s any new hip fads or words or songs or whatever that I’m aware of just let me know and don’t shame me for not knowing. I can barely keep up when I’m home and going months without much wifi, surely I’ve missed something.
- I wanna share my stories, and I wanna hear yours too. I’ll listen if you promise to too.
