During worship the other night, while at Launch which was in fact still in America, the Lord brought me to my knees in prayer and worship and he asked me a question. He said “Do you know what I’m about to do?” My automatic response once I focused on his voice through my confusion was “No Lord I don’t” and his response back was “Good stay there.”
Great that makes sense… stay in this place of confusion?
Why wouldn’t the Lord want me to know what he was up to?
As I remained on my knees the Lord began to clarify this seemingly fragmented conversation we just had, things became much clearer.
He doesn’t want me in a place of confusion for the next year he wants me in a place of surrender. A place where I don’t expect the usual to happen, where I don’t expect God to move in a way I could predict. God wants me to stay in this place of not knowing what he’s about to do- in our ministry, evangelism, in my heart, in the heart of my team, in absolutely every aspect of my life. God wants me to stay in this place of not knowing what is coming next yet fully expecting that He is going to move.
I fully expect God to move in ways I can’t imagine, but so far the World Race hasn’t been filled with encounters of wild miracles of God, or amazing moments of seeing people come to Christ. In fact, the Race so far can be summed up in 4 words:
Hurry up and wait.
Going flight to flight, waiting in airports, at security, in customs, and in longer lines that I wish my swollen feet stood in, I have been continually been waiting for the last few days for the next move, the next invitation to follow.
Its ironic that this is the way we are starting out because this is nothing like I had anticipated, its a lot of unpredictability, and if anyone knows me they know that I love when things go according to plan or as I imagined it to, there are no surprises. In fact sometimes I think that the less surprises the better!
I think God brought me to my knees that night to remind me that these next 11 months is going to be a lot of me not knowing what is going to happen next, and me not being able to control that.
That moment on my knees was God inviting me into the unknown, inviting me into welcoming surprises back into my life. He wants me to stay in this place of the unknown, but for the sole reason of him having the joy of surprising me with far greater things that my imagination could create, plan, and try to control
So Lord here I am in the unknown, and totally open to your glorious surprises once again.
So far here’s a list things I’ve been surprised by:
- The amount I have sweat my body accumulates in airports with and without my pack
- How out of shape I feel handling my full pack in a wide variety of instances
- By how many sweaty women & their packs we were able to fit in a small bus on the way to our hostel
- Our teams creativity in figuring out how to use the stove tonight to make spaghetti
- how poorly I sleep on planes
- How well I can function on crappily sleeping on a plane
- Using the bathroom on a plane isn’t as scary as I thought it would be
- How good African peanut butter is
- How poor I am at understanding French
- By my ability to control my emotions when I am hungry, tired, and uncomfortable all at once
Keep it coming Lord! Tomorrow we head to our ministry sight for the month and I am fully anticipating the Lord continually surprising us in ways we cannot comprehend, but I know the Lord still needs my heart in this place of being okay with not knowing what those surprises are. So this will without a doubt be an adventure full of the unknown, but I think I’m finally ready to embrace it.
I still need your support to unlock the soroses the Lord has for me! I‘m $250 away from my last fundraising goal and only $3250 away from my next fundraising goal in February your support mean everything, and keeps the stories coming!!
