A week before the race, my mom gave me a giving key and on it read the word bold. I wasn’t expecting it at all and she chose the word for me. So when she gave it to me I was so excited and continued to explain to her that my team had named ourselves the boulders because we wanted to be bold in our faith and that for me personally I had wanted to learn how to step out of the fear I was living in and learn how to live boldly. For me personally, I have never loved stepping out of my comfort zone and speaking up, I actually hated it. So when I got the key I was like okay this is the Lord trying to tell me something. Then a week later I left for the race.
And since I’ve stepped onto the field, I’ve been learning how to walk, lead, and live boldly in my faith and who I am. As I said before, I’ve always hated stepping out of my comfort zone. I don’t like vulnerability, not knowing whats going on, or being uncomfortable. Being able to stand up for myself and say what needs to be said has never really been my thing. I let people walk all over me because I was scared to be bold, to be courageous. But boyyyyyy have I learned what its like to live boldly.
Guatemala
In Guatemala, theres a guy that works at the base named Gabe. He told us the first time we met him that he’s never really been good at names and those of us who had a key he would just call us by our key. Of course I was absolutely terrified of him. He’s a big guy with a loud voice who does what the Lord tells him whenever and will tell you whatever you need to be told without sugar coating it. And I remember when he introduced us he said “If you want to learn how to be bold, I will show you how. Actually no I won’t, I’ll just tell you something and then throw you right in” terrifying. So basically I avoided him at all costs. But one day I walked by him, trying avoid eye contact and he stopped me and asked what my name was and what my key said, so I told him and he was just like cool nice to meet you bold. I think he said my actual name right before we left for Guatemala, so for 3 months my name was bold. And for 3 months I had leaders and friends encouraging me to step out in boldness. Every time I didn’t want to do something, someone would just say “mady be bold” and I would get so annoyed because I didn’t want to! Its freaking scary stepping out and praying for people with 7 other people just silently listening and doing their own prayers or praying infant of like 50 people! But one day Gabe came with my team for ATL and I told him about this vision I had and so when the time came when we visited this guys house Gabe just said hey bold its your time. I don’t remember any of it haha. But basically after that is when I slowly started dipping my toes into what it looked like to be bold.
Fast forward to Thailand (month1 and 2)
Thailand was a little bit of a slower process. I had gone from constant community and constant encouragement to living with just my team in a small village 4 hours outside of the city. It was more of a time of trying to observe and figure out how I wanted to activate all the ways I had been encouraged and actually making the initiative and commitment to live boldly. Which looked more liked trying to be vulnerable and being obedient to the Lord and leaning on him.
Myanmar
Oh Myanmar, by far the hardest time on the race. The Lord asked me to just straight up put my trust and faith in him. I gave my phone to Lucy, didn’t touch it for a month and then ate basically only apples and nuts for a month straight. It was horrible. I spent loads of my time immersed in my journal and bible reading it everyday and studying psalm 77 and breaking that down. Honestly I couldn’t tell you how I learned to live boldly that month, maybe it was through the fasts I did? I’m not really sure.
Africa
So far I’ve been here for a month and honestly its been hard. Living boldly has looked like living all squad and standing up for myself, saying what Im feeling, and telling people about my life and trying to be a part of theirs. I have fallen back into a lot of old habits that I had before the race but I have people here constantly telling me “hey be bold”. So yea, its been really hard but I’m trying to get better.
I’m telling you all of this because at the end of the race I am giving my key away. There’s 3 parts to this blog so please keep reading as I post! I kinda just wanted to explain to you what this key has meant to me and how I’ve been trying to live this out and continue it for the rest of my life. Its scary and its hard, but I’m at the point where I constantly am finding ways to better myself and I figuring out how I used to live my life and wanting to change that completely. I want to tell you how I’ve grown in this because to me, its a big deal and im excited to give this key away, a little sad because of the importance this key has carried for me, but mostly excited because it means that I’m confident enough in the growth I’ve experienced to pass it on. So yea, can’t wait to tell you about who this sucker is going to.
See ya.
Love, Mady
