Four years ago, I lived on this island called Bali. I loved it and hated it and you know all that good stuff that happens when you are overseas serving the Lord for the first time in a third world country. It was great.
I learned the language and in the process discovered the most beautiful word I think I’ve ever heard:
DIBEBASKAN
I’ve shared this word before in a blog, but I’ll explain it again. The word means “redeemed” and it breaks down so beautifully.
BEBAS > to free
KAN > to do for others
(And my personal favorite)
DI > already done
Beautiful!!! I love the word! (yes Michael…I said LOVE)
While in Bali, I debated getting this word tattooed on me. I figured if I was going to get a tattoo it should be something with meaning that I can use to witness to people and what a perfect word to not only explain my testimony but more importantly the very essence of my God – the great Redeemer.
The time came to get tattoos and I couldn’t do it. That’s forever and I couldn’t imagine it being on my skin for the rest of my life. I could see my grandchildren laughing at me in years to come when the tattoo was faded and wrinkled and looked like nothing more than “dibbbbbn.”
So I didn’t do it. But I thought about it often. I thought about getting it on my neck in black. Then considered getting it on my neck in white – then realized that would be absolutely pointless and a waste of pain.
Finally I sat myself down and said, “Madisson, are you getting it or not?”
To which I responded, “No”
“Okay, then just say you are never getting a tattoo and stop debating it all the time.”
And that’s what I did. When people talked about getting tattoos, I’d tell them that was awesome, but I’d never get one because I didn’t like the fact that I could never wipe it off. Of course, every time someone got a tattoo or showed me one, I would think again about where I would get it if I did ever get one. I’d finally decided that I like the side tattoos best… but I’d never get one.
Then I met David. That darn kid! We raised him up to be a squad leader because he is a phenomenal man of God and leader and I respect him a ton. The squad leaders went to Chiang Mai a day early last month to have a day alone. That first night, it was David’s goal to get a tattoo. So we found a tattoo parlor and he got his design and the needle started. It didn’t look like fun, but he was a champ.
At one point, everyone else had left the room, so it was just David and I while he was getting this tattoo. We were talking about the tattoo, of course, and he said the sweetest thing.
“One reason I wanted to get this tattoo is because a woman has seen me fully naked, but my wife will be the only one to ever see me fully naked in this new way.”
Oh no. Seriously, as soon as he said those words I knew there was trouble about. I love it. I loved those words.
As many of you know, and I’m not ashamed to share it, I’ve had sex before. (Read this blog if you want the full story.) It was an extremely hard thing for me because I felt dirty and filthy and it took me about 3 years to fully accept God’s grace and walk in the redemption, He had granted me.
David’s words were like the final piece that put this tattoo idea into place. It was like God wanted this all along but was saying, “No, not yet, keep waiting, I’m going to get a little more glory out of this.”
I went back to the hostel that night and all I could think about was the fact that I wanted my husband to see a body that no other man had ever seen, I wanted to give him something unique and new. I wanted to get this tattoo. I knew where and I knew the word, and honestly, what better word for my husband to see on me than “redeemed.”
I got in the shower with this thought in my head and I tested God a little. “Lord, if you want me to get this tattoo, I will need to have $600 in my account. Actually, you know what I’ll be lenient, I need $500 in my account.” (Obviously I’m not great about keeping up with my banking…don’t judge.) I got out of the shower and God had them both covered, I had $625.
I looked at my co squad leaders and said, “Guys, I’m getting a tattoo tomorrow.”
I think they thought I was kidding or crazy because literally three hours before I was saying how I’d never get a tattoo. So I told them about my shower conversation and they all got excited about getting to see another tattoo come to life.
Then when the guys got back, I told them and they told me the cheapest price for a tattoo was going to be $90. Ugh, I was thinking no more than $60. I started to rethink my decision and almost went back on it until Michael said, “Madisson, you can’t go back on it when God has confirmed it.” So we decided the next day to go somewhere different that I’d found online because the place we went for David’s didn’t open until 3 and we had plans for the night.
When we got to the mall, I told my co squad leader that I was praying for the price to be under $70, she said, “Madisson, pray for what you really want.” So we prayed that it would be under $60… it was $50!! Praise God!
When we went to the tattoo parlor, I had an idea of what I wanted for the tattoo, but of course I’m not an artist. I’d looked through a lot of fonts the night before, but I really didn’t like the idea of a computer designing my tattoo, so my sweet Erica (one of our raise up squad leaders), sat there for an hour perfecting the thought I had in my mind. It was beautiful and exactly what I wanted.
All five of the squad leaders were in this little room with me helping to pick the perfect place on my side to put this tattoo, it was a funny scene, but I’m very glad they were there. They were my cheerleaders and the very best.
Geena had suggested the night before that David pick a song to make a song memory so he would think of getting his tattoo every time he heard the song. So they made the tattoo parlor turn off the tv and hook up an iPod because David had picked a song for me.
They played me “I am redeemed” by Big Daddy Weave and every time the song would say, “I am redeemed”, they would sing “I am dibebaskan!” It was so sweet!
Erica held my hand, they all cheered me on and I freaked out a little bit, but then it started and there was no going back. So here it is…
on me forever and ever and ever. Sometimes I forget and then I’ll see it in the mirror and get shocked again. But I’m happy about it and I love it and I’m so happy that it has so many special things to go with it.
Indonesia, the beautiful meaning, the fact that it’s for my husband, the face that it’s about my Redeemer, that I designed it and Erica perfected it, that David encouraged it, that the Squiggle Squirrels were there for it, that I got it in Asia (my favorite region of the world), that God said yes to it and set up all the conditions and that my dad didn’t want to kill me when he found out.
Thank you Jesus for being a God of redemption and allowing me to be a witness of Your glory and having an amazing story to show for it.
“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.”
-Psalm 107: 1-3
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To give an update on my fundraising. I’m still needing $1500 to get back out to my squad for month 8 debrief. Please join me in prayer to reach this goal and if you are able, click the “support me” link at the top of the page to contribute.
