The women of my squad got to attend retreat called Beauty for Ashes and after we got to experience the retreat, we learned how to lead it for others. It was super unique because with every session we were invited to ask God a question and then draw what He spoke to us. We were pretty apprehensive but it ended up being the coolest thing to see how God spoke to each of us in the way that we needed, all at the same time.
In the first session, we asked God how we saw him. For me, I saw him as an almighty ruler and judge, looking down on me as I fall short of His glory daily. Notice I said me and not us in that sentence. I don’t believe that about others. I believe that God loves others, and is happy to take away their sins, and truly delights in others even if they do fall short. He is everyone else’s Father and delights in that role. Just not when it comes to me. So I drew a throne, high on top of a mountain.
Then we were told to ask God what game He wanted to play with us in that moment. An Elvis song came to mind: Baby, Let’s Play House. And I was just thinking, “What the heck? Why am I thinking about an Elvis song right now and one of my least favorite to boot?” I kept trying to dismiss the thought and was honestly getting frustrated with myself until God spoke into that and said “No. I want to play house with you and show you that I am your Loving Father.” So I said okay and drew this cozy little house.
The next day, we asked to God to bring up a painful memory. Being the perfectionist I am, I remembered all the times I messed up and I thought I disappointed God – times that would cause so much shame and pain in my life because I couldn’t believe that God could love me after. Times where I thought God was sitting up there on His throne, shaking His head at me.
Next we asked God where He was in that memory. And God showed me that He was just sitting in His dad-recliner (you know, that chair that every dad has and ALWAYS sits in) and He was weeping for me. Weeping for all the hurt that I would feel and the lies I would believe about myself.
That was the first time I saw God as my dad. Not my father, my dad. My dad who loves me no matter what.My dad who looks at me and sees nothing but perfection. My dad who settled the value of my worth on the cross.
What misconceptions of God are you holding on to? Are you ready to let them go?
– Mads 🙂
