One of the parts of training camp that we could try to prepare for a head of time was the fitness hike. We were encouraged to practice hiking 2.2 miles in 38 minutes with our packs around anywhere from 30 to 45 pounds. For me, most of this experience looked like taking care of myself in creating healthy habits of movement and feeding myself with good nourishing food. These areas are ones I’ve been on a journey with trying to be intentional and healthy since middle school.
I felt pretty confident going into training camp knowing that I’ve done my best to learn to take care of my health. Although as we got closer to the hike, it seemed like each leader mentioned the difficulty of the hike and that it wasn’t possible to walk the entire 2 laps. In order to finish in time, we were highly encouraged to run or jog with our packs. A few minutes before we got started, these comments created more anxious feelings, but I knew I had to push myself to jog the best I could on the flat and downhill parts.
The squads were sent off in intervals by team every 2 to 5 minutes. During the fitness hike, you weren’t positive of the time or how long you were taking except for asking what time it was to the leaders along the way. Lap 1 was more of learning where the path was over the paved road, grass, red Georgia dirt, and gravel road. Our team split up as we each discovered our own pace, and I finished my first lap with two minutes to spare to add onto the time I had for my second lap.
As I started the second lap, I was already feeling tired as I tried to make it up the biggest hill at the start of the lap. I could feel the tiredness set in as I wasn’t used to jogging with my pack or having that much weight in it. I could feel the weight in my chest as I tried to breathe normally. As I went, lies and insecurities began to fill my head. Doubting I’d be able to finish in time or finish well. Doubts and concerns over health in general. Not feeling good enough or lacking the ability to finish well compared to my peers.
As I got up to the top of the hill, there was a man who was encouraging people as they came up. When I got to the top, his words were along the lines of do I believe God is going to pull me through this? Has He been faithful to bring me through difficulties in life so far? I said yes with belief and kept stepping forward, pumping my arms as I tried to fill my head with songs of truth – “yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord” and “Jesus Jesus, you make the darkness tremble. Jesus Jesus you silence fear”.
I needed Him to silence the fear and negative thoughts. I needed to believe in Him to be my strength and truth. He was going to get me through this. I tried to jog the best I could as I got to each leader on the road who spoke encouragement. I wanted to trust what they were saying and take their words as truth as well.
At one point there was a couple of people checking their times, and the person in front of me was very concerned of the time, running late, and not making it. I wasn’t sure what time it was or what time I needed it to be to keep going. All I knew was that this person’s concern made me question how much time I had left. I was worried that I wasn’t going to finish as well, that it would be embarrassing and frustrating. In this moment, I decided I couldn’t give up. I needed to keep going and trusting the Lord that He was walking right beside me in each step. I didn’t need to look at the whole path ahead, I could focus on what section was next and jog where needed to the next person or part of the hike. As I got to the last section, I decided I was going to make the most of it as I wasn’t sure what time it was and pushed myself to jog to the best of my ability.
Somehow, I made up the last hill to the finish, and I heard the time somewhere around 32 minutes. Somehow someway I finished, and I felt the relief sinking in. As I stood and walked around to catch my breath, I couldn’t help but be amazed at what just happened. It was such a spiritual and mental battle during those two laps, but I knew that I didn’t do it alone. As I thought about the people that were surrounding me and speaking truth filled messages, I felt the Lord telling me how much they believe in and love me and how much He believes and loves me. He spoke to me saying, “I want you to believe in yourself”.
Believe in yourself. I want you to believe and accept the love that I have for you and not feel like you have to do this on your own. To feel like your preparation is enough. The books read, major chosen, reflection considered is enough to get me to have enough strength for this experience. This is not how I designed it.
I could try to do it on my own – do the hike, finish this semester, walk through next year – but I’d miss out on all the Lord has to teach me through His presence. I wouldn’t get the most out of the experience through depending on myself and not believing the people around me. I think God wants me to rest in who He has created me to be. Who I am in Him.
I am a daughter of the King. The Creator made me with purpose and meaning. I need to believe that – made with value. To see the ways He has created me in order to love Him and love His people. To not let comparison steal my joy and to seek Him for my truth and worth.
God fights for each of us. He stands with us, He goes before us, and He wants what’s best for us. He created us with purpose and with love. He wants us to rest in His presence knowing that we are created for relationships and we are created for loving one another and loving Him. Let that truth sink in.
This experience reinforced the importance of living in true community. Not only accepting people into your life but living to love others in the places they are at as well. Surrounding one another with truth, encouragement, and unconditional love as the Father models for us. It was very powerful to see these images of God‘s love through the leaders on the roads and teammates who hiked the second day with those who didn’t finish. I’m so excited for this next year of community – taking steps to trust people in their words, breaking down walls, and learning to let people in more fully. I believe the Lord is providing abundant life as He orchestrates each next moment. I pray that He continues to shape our vision to see ourselves with His eyes. He loves unconditionally and wants you to believe in yourself as well. He creates with purpose and meaning. Love God and Love others. Loving others in the place that they are at, to show how much God loves them as well.
Worship songs:
