Hey, God. Can you show me how you view me?
I closed my eyes as I prepared to hear from the Lord, and this is what He showed me…
Ocean lay calm as far as the eye could see, deep and dark with no land in site. The sky was light and faded slowly into the depths of the water. I could see a familiar figure of a man walking closer and closer atop of the water. He was clothed in white, His face a mystery. Jesus. In His arms He was cradling something that seemed tiny in comparison to His greatness. As He neared, I could make out the girl in His arms. That’s me. I could see my head cradled to His chest and my legs drooping over His big arms, the way one would carry a child. My immediate reaction to this picture was confusion.
Jesus, why are you carrying me? Does this mean I’m weak?
A calming sense of peace fell over me… what does this mean, God?
Madie, you are dependent.
Dependent?
At first this concept of dependency made very little sense to me. After all, we are taught in our western culture to be self-sufficient, self-soothing, and self-reliant from a young age. We go from being carried as babies to sprinting by ourselves in a matter of years. We celebrate songs like ‘Miss Independent’, and we admire stories of self-starters. Personally, I always viewed dependency as a weakness.
As an infant, my parents held me close, cradling and protecting me from harm. I was completely dependent upon them for mobility. As a toddler, my parents held my hand as I stumbled around trying to find proper footing. I remained slightly dependent on them as I began to build confidence in walking alone. As a child, I learned to run wild, without help – embracing what I thought to be real freedom. Eventually we feed ourselves, clothe ourselves, and stand on our own two feet. This process of growth is one in which we slowly wean our children from dependence and move them fully into independence.
However, the kingdom of God is counter-cultural and it typically seems flipped upside down.
When I first put my faith in Jesus, I was still running wild and ‘free’. Slowly Jesus took my hand and I began to truly walk with Him, learning to give up pieces of my independence. He held my hand through the stumbles and hesitations, never letting me fall. Now He carries me like a child, completely dependent on my Heavenly Father. God is a gentleman and He slowly weaned me off of my independence. He clothes me, He feeds me, and He carries me. Walking into this kind of radical dependence has been a process, one that I have often fought hard against, but it has been the most beautiful part of falling totally in love with Jesus.
This dependency thing may not sound very appealing at first. Maybe, like I did, you believe it’s is a sign of weakness or maybe you believe that independence is the key to true freedom. If I can tell you one thing for sure it’s this, I have never felt more free in my life, and I have never been more dependent on God in my life. When we surrender our selves fully to God, we create space for Him to do exponentially more than we can hope or imagine.
This idea of dependence is radical and counter-cultural, but it’s worth it. This is true freedom, friends.
He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30
