My broken heart
Do you know I haven’t cried in almost a year? Before that it had been three!
Something happened to me when I was younger and I not only shut off my emotions to the world, but I shut them off to myself.
If you know me you probably would characterize me as energetic, joyful and passionate. I have realized this one thing:
You can’t experience the depth of joy until you have experienced the depth of sorrow.
So I have been on a 6 month journey to cry and so far I have got nothing..
Until last night.
Remember I am a missionary overseas in South Africa serving the Lord among 40 people. We had something called The Awakening where our squad of 40 met up with another squad of 50 and encouraged one another for a weekend and got filled up by staff from Adventures. During one worship service one of our leaders asked:
Is there anyone in here who does not believe in the Lord’s reckless love?
No one moved for about 15 seconds and then hands started to slowly raise.
About 10 people in our group raised their hands and God told me to wait to pray. So I waited for a few minutes then my friend raised her hand.
I ran to her and threw her in my arms and just waited. Then God told me what to pray.
I gave her a tight hug and stepped back and began to think about the intensity of what was happening. My heart started to break because without God’s love we have nothing.
The tears started rolling as I thought this:
If you don’t know the depth of the Lord’s love for you, you will not ever step into the fullness of freedom He promises us.
Without God’s love you feel empty.
Without God’s love you feel hopeless.
Without God’s love you feel worthless.
Without God’s love you feel rejection.
Without God’s love you feel abandoned.
Without God’s love you cannot love.
Jesus went to the cross for YOU. A typical flogging during this time included 39 hits of a broken glass whip to his back because 40 whips would kill him. The gospels say his back was laid bare! Every bone was exposed for YOU. Every time that whip hit he said, “FOR MADISON!”
Then he went to the cross with people mocking him, shaming him and humiliating the King of the Universe! The only reply Jesus had was, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
This is what YOU are worth. The Father wanted YOU back. He wants a relationship with you and for the entire Bible from Genesis 3-Revelation 21 he is fighting to get that relationship back.
Jesus won the battle and got you back, but you have to CHOOSE to receive that love.
If you haven’t received that love your missing out on true freedom and on true joy. Your missing out on the fullness of your identity as a child of God.
Ask the Lord today: do I actually believe in your reckless love for me?
If you don’t, ask him to show you. Tell him your all in and you want to receive all of him.
I have experienced the depth of sorrow and now I realize how much joy this story brings.
With the love of God you have peace.
With the love of God you have hope.
With the love of God you have freedom.
With the love of God you have joy.
With the love of God you have assurance.
With the love of God you have purity.
With the love of God you have forgiveness.
This list goes on and on. I pray that each and every one of you will have a revelation of God’s love if you haven’t. Press into him and he will be forever faithful to you.
