I wrote this a while back, before launch, but I didn’t want to share it. It felt vulnerable and weird and fear held me back. But as I wrote about 4 different blogs this week which all felt forced & unnatural, and ultimately I ended up deleting, the Lord reminded me about what I wrote a few weeks ago & told me it was time to share it. So here goes!
My journey with Jesus has been a long one. And it’s been a windy one. A long road with lots of twists and turns and roadblocks. It’s been some odd number of years since I started to learn what it looked to walk with Him, but I can’t say it’s been steady. I’ve had highs and lows, times where I feel like it’s Him and I against the world and times where I feel like it’s just me against Him, wanting nothing to do with Him. And then there’s the in betweens. But one thing is true every single time. Every time I am reminded why it’s worth it to walk with Him, I ask myself why I ever walk away. I’ve run home like the prodigal son too many times to count, and for some reason I just can’t seem to stay. It’s not that I actually want to do life without Him, but it would be so much easier. No sacrifices, no surrender. I think I’m undeserving, unworthy, and it’s easier to run away than to face His humiliating, undeserved grace. But that’s not what He wants. He wants me, and you, and every single one of His sons and daughters to come home and just stay home. Rest in the comfort of His heart being your home. Stop fighting His love. Wipe your feet, stay a while, and stop looking back when He has called you forward.
