I feel like I am constantly leaving. There always seems to be just too many places to go and too many people to see. This summer was the perfect example. My weeks were filled with time in Texas visiting my mom, traversing the States with my friend seeking adventures out West, spending sweet quality time with friends in North Carolina, surprising friends at proposals in Nashville. I went to weddings. I celebrated birthdays. I laughed a lot. I cried a lot. I spent time with the people that matter to me. I was full.
But I was always leaving. I would have maybe two days between each adventure, which basically left me enough time to do laundry, then repack my clothes into the same red duffle bag. And with my little green backpack in tow, I would be off.
I couldn’t help it. I had this undeniable urge to see everyone and do everything. With my looming 11 month life hiatus, I couldn’t help but feel like I had to squeeze it all in. And believe me, I did. And to be honest, the Race just felt like this big unknown chunk of time that would put all of my relationships on hold until I got back. I was stuck in my own head that I somehow had to wrap up all my goodbyes in this neat little bow that will be waiting to be unwrapped a year from now.
But that isn’t true at all. In fact, the goodbyes I thought would be the hardest ended up being surprisingly easier than I could have imagined. It was the people I have such deep and intimate ties to that I wasn’t worried about. I knew deep in my heart that no time and distance can break the strength in relationships. If anything, it makes them stronger.
I have learned so much in what it means to say goodbye. It has grown a deeper appreciation for those around me. It causes me to laugh a bit harder, hug a little tighter, and cry when it is necessary. I no longer mourn 11 months lost without those I love, because I know that I have already gained a lifetime. I have hope that the relationships I have transcend time and place.
The truth about leaving is that it is hard. But if I have learned anything about God in my faith journey, it is that He is always faithful to meet and teach us in the hard places.
So, I am off. Holding those I love in my heart while standing beside my Savior. Ready to take on this adventure He has placed before me. It will be difficult at times. But that is all the more reason to lean more heavily on Abba. And cling to the hope I have in Him.
