There have been very few times in my life when I was rendered speechless. Yesterday was one of those times. At 7 am my team and the other gap year team living in Manila headed out to a very small community church about an hour away. We all knew it was going to be a difficult day, but I dont think anyone could of been prepared for what we experienced. The pastor of the church does feedings every Sunday and Wednesday at a place called Happy Land. It is a dump where 50 years of trash and sewage have accumulated, and it’s now a place where thousands of people call home. There’s a huge difference between hearing about poverty, seeing it on TV, and actually being there. Actually realizing that this is real life, this is happening right now. People are literally living on top of trash, starving and disease-ridden. Something in me snapped, and I knew I had been living a comfortable life of ignorance. I had grown up with all my basic needs met- food, water, shelter, and love. These people were lucky if they even got one of these things.
Up until this point, me and my team had seen poverty. We had gone through the tears and confusion and questioning God, but never to this degree. Some of my team mates broke down in tears instantly as the children came running barefoot through the garbage just for a hot meal. When there are no feedings, most of the children rummage through the years of trash for scraps. The pastor led us through the garbage after the feeding to meet the locals, pray for the needs, and experience a taste of life for these people. These people who were genuine and kind and despite everything, loved Jesus and knew He loved them too. They had such joy in their hearts. For most, Jesus was all they had– and that was enough for them. This blew my mind. Somewhere through the trek my legs got splattered with mud and garbage juice. I didn’t really noticed and continued walking and greeting people. Later, a sweet girl named Melani tapped me on the shoulder and I saw she was holding a small bucket of water in her hands and pointed to my leg. I looked at her, puzzled, until she started to pour the water down my leg and scrub off the mud. This little girl, who was barefoot and had very little access to water and was never able to be clean herself, was caring and selfless enough to make sure my leg was clean. My heart surged and broke at the same time. It surged at how much I saw Jesus in this beautiful girl, and broke knowing I would have to leave her and would probably never see her again. She never let go of my head for the rest of my time spent there and even though there was a language barrier, I managed to remind her “Jesus loves her” in Tagalog and was swallowed in squeeze hugs by several kids until they were forced to let go by our departing trikes.
On the ride back to the church, I found myself in a daze, trying to process what I just experienced. I had a few questions swimming around in my head such as why them and not me? Why do you let them live like that Lord? If you are so good, why are there things that are so bad? I was mad at God for letting the people He loves live in those conditions. I am forever grateful that The Lord is patient with my questions.
I realized that we put so much worth in things. In the comfort of clothes, coffee, big fancy houses, and getting our first cars as soon as we turn 16. And yet, there are so many people still completely lost. Searching for answers that only God provides. God showed me that because of their conditions, they now rely on God with everything they have. They know true joy, despite their surroundings. And for that, I envied them. God continued to lead me to the scripture Luke 12:48 that says “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and for the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” It is a sin not to share what we have with others, and I think that is why my heart ached with the guilt of having so much. And it was in the moments of abandoning myself and focusing only on meeting the needs of the people that i experienced glimpses of the true Joy of God I saw in the faces of those that I was serving. It is such a blessing for God to use me, someone who is seemingly insignificant, to care for his precious children.
Later that afternoon, we set out to do another feeding on smokey mountain. This is an older dump where most of the trash has already decomposed into soil and the ground is smoldering hot. We climbed up the large hill to discover a hidden community of about 50 children and there families. My team had the honor of bathing the children (they don’t have access to water on the top of the mountain so bathing is a last priority), brushing their lice-infested hair, clipping their nails, & singing songs with them. It seemed as if they had been forgotten about by society- hidden away on top of a mountain of trash where tiny shacks are called home by families of 11 people. We fed the kids a feast of fried rice and sausage and it was a blessing to see something so simple light up their faces.
Needless to say, it was a challenging day. And there are moments still when my heart wrestles with what I saw and my human flesh encourages me to doubt God and his goodness because of the brokenness of the world. But when we accept God into our lives as our savior, we are no longer of the world. This place, this broken world of Sin, is no longer our home. We will never truly belong anywhere until we are in heaven with our Heavenly Father. Until then, I’m am clinging to the scripture of 1 John 4:4 “because greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world”
Although this life is only temporary, God created us for a purpose. If you have been blessed with much, God calls you to give until it hurts. True Joy is found only in God when you pursue him with all your heart and not in other idols and material things that seem to consume our everyday lives. If you are searching for answers in this world, I trust that you will either find God, or you will find nothing. Because without God, there truly is nothing worth while.
Prayers for this community are desperately needed. May the hungry always be fed, the naked be clothed, and the sick be healed. The power of prayer is amazing and I truly believe God will work in amazing ways through Happy Land and Smokey Mountain. And although I may never understand those ways, my God is good and faithful and I will trust Him always.
sidenote: my computer isn’t uploading pictures so if you are interested on seeing what the dump looked like, I have a few images on my Instagram madison.rose_
