This is the second part of my letter to future racers.
1. When one of your best friends tells you she’s pregnant the day before you leave for launch. Drop to your knees. Ask God to give you the signal to go or stay. This might come as an overwhelming peace that you’re doing the right thing. Or it might simply be the quietest reminder that He’s provided so far. I personally didn’t recieve that overwhelming peace in that moment. I felt Him tell me that I could go or stay, and either would be okay. I knew He had blessings for me in either choice. But, as if to remind me why I wanted to go in the first place, He brought up images of little children in various countries, just wanting to be loved. I had to decide which children to love for this year. So I chose to stick with my earlier decision and be God’s love to those I had yet to meet.
But when I was still contemplating which to do, Satan brought to mind that I couldn’t let all these people down who have believed in me and invested so much already. Let me tell you, it cannot be about that! If push comes to shove and that’s the only reason why you’re going, ask God for more reasons. You’ll need more than that in the moments when all you want to do is go home.
2. When it’s 4 am on the way to your first country, and you can’t sleep on the plane. So ask God to remind you why this is all going to be worth it. He will. When I asked, He brought up all these things I could be praying about/for, and when I started praying, great excitement and anticipation began to build in the place of that self-pity that I had been wallowing in. And as time goes on, you acquire many memories that you can recall to remind you of what’s already made it all worth it.
3. When you can hear the rats running around on the ceiling above you. But you choose to simply pray that they wouldn’t come inside, stick in your earplugs so you can’t hear the scratching, and trust God as you sleep. You never know, you might even find out the next morning that those were just pigeons, not rats, scratching on the roof all night.
4. When you’re surrounded by so much heartbreak and spiritual darkness that the world seems almost void of hope. But you don’t go home. You don’t cower. You set up a night watch where your team (or squad) rotate through the night, covering the whole night in prayer. You stand as a unified force in the authority of the One Who indwells and empowers you. Then you praise Him for His promise to hear your cry, and you worship Him not just for what He has done, not just for what He will do, but for Who He is. This is what hope rides in on, the trust and knowledge that whatever He does will be consistant with His nature, which is the best assurance of all.
5. When it’s your brother’s birthday (or other family member/friend/holiday). Write a letter for them to open the next year. If it’s a birthday, you can even write down the prayers you’re praying for them over this next year so that they can read it next year and look back and see how He answered those prayers. Also, press into the family of friends that is your team. Never think that you have to walk though homesickness or the fear of missing out alone. And ask God to flood your day with things that will remind you of why you’re where you’re at instead of home.
6. When you’re sick. You must take every single thought captive. You’re physically just lying there, seemingly weak and vulnerable to the enemy’s attack. But mentally and spiritually stand in the strength of God, choosing to flood yourself with His truth in the face of the lies that satan will throw at you.
There’s many challenges to come, but in those you learn more and more just how victorious God is, and you get to taste that sweet victory every time you refuse to be overcome and destroyed by the schemes of the evil one.
But you’ll also get to meet the most incredible people, have amazing conversations, and see God work in ways you’ve missed your whole life.
Yes, your normal will be destroyed, but God will write a new-and-improved normal for you if you let Him.
Yes, it will rarely be physically comfortable, but it can be a gift of learning how to specifically pray for those that live in those discomforts all the time.
Yes, it will break your heart, but if you let it be Godly sorrow and not just depression at the state of this world, you will be moved into action in ways you never knew possible.
And yes, you will be used by God to minister to people, but words cannot begin to describe the depths of ministry to your heart from those you’re supposed to be ministering to.
In short, whenever you ask yourself “is it worth this?”, whatever “this” is, it’s definitely worth it.
Thanks for reading. I hope this is encouraging as well as practical. Please let me know if you ever have any questions. It’s quite possible I won’t know the answer, but the least I can do is share from my own experiences.
In Christ,
Madi
