There was a lot of sadness today. Yes, we said goodbye to the kids that we’ve been loving on for the past three weeks, but that didn’t even come close to being the hardest part.
They flip each other off, steal each other’s food, circle around one kid and kick them repeatedly until they can hardly breathe, try to pull each others pants down and laugh at the embarrassment of the exposure. The boys treat girls like they’re something to be belittled and abused. The girls treat the boys like they’re something to be manipulated and controlled. Some kids wear the bruises and scars inflicted by the “adults” in their lives. One little girl rarely shows any emotion at all, but instead remains stoic and quietly accepting in response to what’s going on around her.
But none of this was the hardest/saddest parts of today either.
What could be worse than children treating each other this way?
The fact that they think it’s normal. And not just normal, but that that’s what others deserve…and they don’t think they themselves deserve any better.
Some of them try to treat us the same way, but others have realized how we value them, and they cling to us…literally.
I cannot talk to most of these kids, as we don’t speak the same language. But as the kids were saying goodbye for the last time and loading the bus to go home, one boy made eye contact with me and held his hand palm-faced against the window. I walked over and placed mine over his on the other side of the glass. We both started to cry. I wanted to tell him I love him and that I miss him already. But instead I just looked at him, and he began to nod. He knew.
God asks me to trust Him all the time, so it’s like a reflex at this point. I trust Him with these kids. I know He’s more capable than I and loves them better than I ever could. What a blessing it’s been to be His tangible, physical loving touch to them. But it’s hard to step out of that role.
Like I said, there was a lot of sadness today.
