It has been almost two months since I was accepted for the World Race October Route 1, and I’ve already asked myself over a thousand times if this is what I’m supposed to be doing. After all, if this was truly what I was supposed to be pursuing, the money should be flowing in and I should feel completely at rest about this decision and everything should be going smoothly, right?
Last night I was at church, and while I was listening to the sermon I was struck by how towards the beginning he’d mentioned God’s living river flowing out of us, and then later talked about God lighting a fire within our souls. These seem contradictory to me…but then God showed me that that’s the beauty of it all! I’m being called to be a living contradiction: I in myself am black with sin, but He says I am white as snow in righteousness, therefore I am. There is nothing good in me, but He flows goodness out of me. In my death to self, I am ALIVE in Christ! So, last night, God taught me a new prayer that has been running through my head ever since, and that is that He would ignite a fire with His river in my soul! In this came His challenge for me to let go of all of my worries, doubts, fears, excitements, ideas, dreams, and hopes. He asked me to allow Him to break through all of these so that He could fulfill within and through me more than I could ever imagine for myself. So I’m letting go and letting God dream for me.
This will be a decision needing to be made constantly, but I am up to the challenge because I know God has ignited in my soul a fire through His river! I cannot wait to see who He brings into my life so that He can continue to set fires through the floods of His living river!
