Have you noticed that in movies often times when there is a funeral scene it’s raining? This is because the director is trying to set the tone. The director is looking to give off a rather gloomy or gray vibe. Which would usually be associated with funerals. So it’s just interesting to me that God decided to make it rain today when I went to a Guatemalan funeral. And call me crazy but I truly believe he was trying to set the tone for the funeral.
You’re probably wondering why the heck would God would want us to feel gloomy or gray or even sad. I don’t think that was his goal. I think his goal was for our hearts to break for this woman and her children so that we could all unite- despite the fact that we hadn’t ever met this woman.
Before the funeral we were with our ministry hosts and they gave us some background on the woman. She was the mother to 5. 4 girls and 1 boy. Her oldest daughter has her own family now, but her youngest was the boy and he is 5 years old. She was married but didn’t have a happy marriage. Her husband didn’t pay much attention to her. In fact he paid her so little attention, he brought another woman home with him to live in their house. We were also told that she had been very sick for many many years. The mysterious illness is was eventually led to her death Tuesday morning. The illness is what led to her mothers death as well, and unfortunately the woman’s sister has begun exhibiting symptoms of the illness. I personally have come to the conclusion that the Lord decided to bring her home to put her out of her physical and emotional suffering.
Once we were filled in on the history of the woman, we hopped in the back of the blue truck and drove to the funeral in village below Panimaquin.
Now. Let me explain how a Guatemalan funeral works. After someone dies they are placed in a coffin which is left in their home for the next 24 hours. During those 24 hours people constantly come to pay their respects, even all throughout the night. When the 24 hours is over, the coffin is carried to the cemetery where they will finally be laid to rest.
So we arrive. Outside the house it feels almost like a party. People are laughing and eating and kids are playing. But inside the house is a completely different environment. The coffin is in the middle of the room. A yellow tassel curtain is hung behind it. Surrounding the coffin are flowers and candles. There are chairs against all walls of the room and the chairs closest to the door are occupied by the woman’s children. We went down the line giving hugs and offering our condolences as best as we could. That means we mostly just said “lo siento” (I’m Sorry) to everyone. We wanted to say more but the language barrier was very clear to us today. One of the daughters was my age. It broke my heart to see someone my age wailing for her mother because I absolutely can’t imagine losing my mom- especially right now. My teammate, Natalie, later pointed out that she felt selfish for complaining about not being able to see her mom for nine months when this girl was never going to see her mom again. And that really resonated with me.
We sat in the room with the family for a few hours. Around 1 O’clock a lunch was served to everyone in attendance. After that the casket was moved outside for a small ceremony. Some people were crying, some were sobbing, but some were laughing and having conversations. It upset me at first because I thought it was extremely disrespectful, but that’s just the culture here. Funerals are almost like a get-together. Something that hit me really hard was the woman’s daughter about the age of my sister. She was wailing for her mother. That was hard to see because I think of my sister as such a little girl and she needs her mom, and the fact that this girl doesn’t have her mom anymore is heartbreaking. After the small ceremony is when they started to walk the casket down. Since we are so high in the mountains they just walked it to the edge of the village. I was told that it is believed that if you do not walk the casket through the village another person in the family will soon die. Walking through the village with the casket was probably the hardest part. One of the daughters was walking behind me and she was just screaming and asking God why he took her mother. So once we reached the end of the village they loaded the casket into a truck and everyone got in the backs of trucks and rode down to the cemetery. This is when the rain came.
So there you have it. A Guatemalan funeral… or my experience at least. It was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to experience here so far. And like I said earlier, I think God sent the rain to set the tone for the day. He wanted our hearts to break for them like his does so we knew how to love them well. That family was hurting for the loss of their mother and the life that she lived and he wanted us to hurt for them in order to show them his love.
Loving strangers is a really hard thing for me. In order for me to love someone I need to know them and their heart. However, living in another country really softens your heart. And that’s something I’m very thankful for. I think I could always stand to love people more. So I can thank Guatemala for starting to teach me that you don’t have to know someones history to love them.
