How do I sum up the hardest, but greatest, 3 months of my entire life?
Let me take you back to my journal entry from Day 2.
DAY 2- TRAINING CAMP 9/4/2020
I feel like I’ve been here for at least a week, how is it possibly Day 2? If I’m being honest, last night during worship I felt out of place, kind of like I was an observer just looking in, and would never be a part of it. I didn’t know any of the songs and people were being moved by the Holy Spirit, hands raised, tears falling, and I just didn’t feel it. It makes me question if I’m meant to be here, or spirit strong enough for this.
But today I took a bucket shower for the first time! Absolutely amazing experience after feeling hot, sweaty, and muddy. I accidentally washed my hair with VINEGAR! I swear I thought it was a spray bottle of water. I hope I got all of it out, but I can still smell on my hair right now. Tonight we also had team time. It’s my favorite thing so far. I‘m completely falling in love with my team and their kind energy. Also I already love my leaders Maggie and Bern so much, I trust them and I know I can count on them. My team makes me realize how grateful I am to FINALLY have a Christian influence on me. Even though I feel kind of out of place, I’m so thankful that Jesus put these people in my life. There is a reason I’m here. I can feel it. I just don’t know what that reason might be.
Love,
Madeleine
So what changed in my journal entries since then? ME. I’ve changed. And when my heart changed, so did everything around me. It wasn’t easy. And I still have 6 months to go. But my time is over in Gainesville, and I’m so glad I stayed.
I went from the girl who sits in a corner during Worship on Day 2, to standing in the front with her hands lifted.
I went from the girl who hides her face away when they call on people to pray before meals, to asking to pray over strangers in the street.
I went from the girl who has NEVER been camping, to living in a tent for almost 2 months.
I went from the girl who truthfully never opens her Bible, to having an eagerness to learn more about God’s character everyday.
I went from the girl who always talked about herself and never takes the time to listen to others, to wanting to check up on those around me to see how they are doing.
I went from the girl who goes to church on Sunday, to a woman who strives to be a woman of the Lord, not just on Sunday’s, but each and everyday.
