The end of Race is here. In just 4 hours I will board a flight that is 11 hours long. I will land in California, and the second my feet touch American soil the Race will be no more.
That feels unreal.
Going into the Race, I knew that the Race would only be a part of my life, a passing experience, a season like any other.
But being so close to the end that is starting to sink in.
So much went into actually getting here, so much question-asking, fundraising, training, and honestly just praying.
The amount of time that I spent talking about the World Race now very clearly surpasses the amount of time I spent actually on the Race.
It’s been 3 years since I first watched a video on the World Race Gap Year website,
and today me and two of my teammates are on the home page.
It’s been 2 years since I started asking Alumni Racers in Texas about their experience,
and today I will start trying to summarize my own Race.
It’s been 1 year since I got accepted to the World Race,
and today I will take my last breath as a World Racer.
That feels unreal.
And to be quite honest, I feel unprepared.
I knew how to do life at home before the Race, and I stumbled into learning how to do life on the Race.
I feel as though failure is eminent, as if I won’t do it right, I won’t figure it out.
But there’s two things that Kate Goeler (and also God through Kate Goeler) keeps reminding me.
- I am equipped.
When I asked Kate to give me feedback- she told me to stop throwing an invisibility cloak over my own abilities in Christ. Too often I write myself off. I assume that if it’s new and hard I won’t be able to overcome it. I jump to the conclusion that I need help, someone to tell me step by step what to do. But the reality is I am totally equipped to handle anything that comes because I have the Holy Spirit. I have the Great Counselor literally dwelling inside me. I know truth and scripture and I’m capable and equipped to discern what to do and how to do it.
- I am human.
When I asked Kate about how to make big decisions that seem ambiguous- she told me that it’s ok to fail. Failure is not the enemy, in fact, failure is often more of a friend than perfection is. Failure reminds us of how dependent we are on God. Failure teaches us, grows us, and challenges us. I’m human and I will inevitably mess it up. But if my screw-up draws me nearer to the Father it was worth it.
All of this to say that yes,
I feel unprepared, and this whole “going home” thing feels unreal.
But just as in the season leading up to the Race, the season leading out of the Race must be defined by trust.
Trust is knowing that he has equipped me, that I lack no good thing.
Trust is believing that he works all things for my good and his glory.
Trust is giving truth more power than my emotions.
Trust is confidence that when he takes me in, he has also promised to lead me out.
Thanks God for endings and new beginnings.
