If you remember, my mom made the courageous decision to give up sugar in the form of sweets, except for a once-per-month treat, for the time I am away on the race. I wanted to share with you an update at the end of month one, as she reflects on what this month has been like for her:
{my words will be in purple & hers are in green}
Hi Darlin’!! I started a note to you a week ago about my first month experience and deleted it because all I could think about is that my seemingly small sacrifice is nothing compared to yours. God has shown me it’s not about comparisons, but it’s about answering His call and being obedient.
Comparison, as my mom so aptly named above, is so relevant. If we kept tally marks on our hands each time we had a thought about how someone’s experience of their life, their self, their friends, their family, was better than ours, I imagine by the end of the day our hands would be covered.
Even on the race, as a team, we have talked about the comparison of ministry! How ridiculous, right?! Even though I am in a different country, with different people, doing things I have never done before, the same patterns from my life in the states have followed me, comparison being one of them.
Comparison robs me of the ability to see the Lord’s heart & hand in each thing I do. We were praying over this as a team, because many of us have shared the same thoughts & attitudes. The Lord revealed to me that it doesn’t matter what we are doing. What matters is the intention & position of our heart behind what we are doing.
Thus, neither what my mom has chosen to do nor my decision to go on the race are better or greater than one another. Each of us can clearly see the Lord’s hand in all we do, our hearts just have to be in a position to view it. Obedience, regardless of what it looks like is no small feat.
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I struggled the first & second week with cravings, I had low grade headache and I ate fruit. I also prayed more, did my bible study and read 3 different devotionals every morning. I had committed to having sweets once a month & decided around day 10 it was time. Then decided day 11 was part of day 10 because after all 24 hours had not quite past yet. That was, in my mind a logical justification.
How often do we justify our behavior, even though we know there are better decisions we can make? Literally, I justify my choices ALL THE TIME. I think, on one hand, justification is human, because we hope to not feel guilty & if we justify, really things are fine. On the other hand, I think justification is a learned behavior. We always want to make choices that leave our head and heart in harmony, & when we feel disharmonious, we justify to fix it.
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Maddie suggested I have a little grace for myself like I would give others. I surrendered again and gave myself a little grace and God removed my guilt & harsh view of myself for having sweets two days in a row. I have learned again, that prayer works, that I can NOT do this alone, & that I don’t want to do this alone.
Yes & amen mama!!
Other gains from giving up the sweets: I feel better, I think I am having fewer hot flashes {hahahaha}, I feel more energetic, & I am working out more consistently. That’s my adventure so far – my prayer time has increased & my relationship with our God has shifted which makes me happy. Praying for health for you all, balance, wisdom and courage!!
Love,
Mama
Mama, thank you for sharing so vulnerably your experience. I am so proud of you & am continually proud to be called your daughter 🙂
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&& that’s a wrap on month 1! It has felt like a whirlwind, getting in the groove & again being uprooted. As I type this, we are in the final few hours of our bus ride to Ecuador, where we are preparing for a debrief & then will step into our second month of ministry. Thank you for learning & being challenged alongside me & my team. We are so thankful for your prayers & encouragement!
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Also, I have two more people that have committed to giving up something for some, or a portion of the year I am gone!
My fiance’, Eric, joined when I left by giving up alcohol for approximately 9 months, in order to better prepare his heart & mind for our future marriage. It is an incredible gift to see a man who loves me so much & has chosen to put his relationship with the Lord first. Both of us have talked about this – that this 11 months apart before we get married, is the ultimate marriage boot camp. We are doing the best thing for one another & our future marriage by learning to each seek God first, before one another. I love you & am so thankful for the gift you are to me, Eric!!
One of my dearest friends, Hannah has decided to give up french fries! I love this!! Knowing her so well, I understand what a comfort one of her favorite foods can be to her, but I so admire her willingness to listen to the Holy Spirit & partner with me in this way 🙂 At the end of the year, she & I will decide what ministry we would like to give the money to that she has saved (from not eating french fries!!)
I am so thankful for my home team! If you feel led to give up something for one month, the remaining 10 months, or even one week, please feel free to reach out, I’d love to partner with you in prayer!
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Here is a view from our debrief site – it is BEAUTIFUL here in Banos, Ecuador (yes the name of this place is actually bathroom!)
Love,
Maddie
