hey friends! it’s been a minute! let me fill you in on what’s going on! soooo in case you haven’t heard, i’m going to be an alumni team leader for gap e this fall!! i’ll be leading and discipling a team of five incredible women.
the way the Lord has just aligned everything so perfectly in His timing has just been so overwhelmingly good!!
i’ve had team leading on my heart for almost a year now. i saw the team leaders on my squad and thought, “wow, they have such tight, God-centered relationships with each other. i want that.” the more i thought about it, the more i realized the deeper things they had — like confidence in their identities, the ability to give and receive feedback with each other so smoothly and with love, and how everything in their lives pointed to the Lord.
and the Lord slowly started asking me questions to reveal my heart posture and real reason i wanted to do this. questions like “if you couldn’t go to another country and do ministry, would i still be enough?” “if you couldn’t be team leading with other people from your squad last year, would i still be enough?” “if you had to live in a tent in the georgia heat and humidity, would i still be enough?” these questions were WRENCHING and made me really inspect my deep desire to want to do this. when it comes down to it, i want to be able to pour into other people. God is MORE than enough for me, it doesn’t matter what my situation looks like. because who He is is constant and never-changing. and that’s all i need.
this summer after i got back from my race, i’ve been looking for jobs and asking the Lord what’s next. “Lord, what do you want me to do?” “Lord, how do you want me to move?” i found several jobs that seemed perfect, and for whatever reason, they didn’t work out. i looked to God in confusion and honestly, a bit of anger.
when i got approached to be an alumni team leader, aaaalllllll these horrible doubts and fears and insecurities about myself came flooding back. “do you really think you’re spiritually mature enough to handle discipling a team of women?” “you’re entering this so late, everyone already knows each other, you’re going to be left out.” “what if people ask you questions that you can’t answer?” “what if you do something wrong and it totally blows up in your face?”
this fear of failure is something that i’ve REALLY had to wrestle with these questions and ask the Lord to remind me what He says about me and who i am in Him.
He reminded me of moses and the burning bush (it’s in exodus 3 if y’all wanna read it and go through it with the Lord yourselves, too!). the Lord was CRYSTAL CLEAR with what He wanted moses to do, but moses was still hesitant and came up with excuses for why he wasn’t good enough and He should go find someone else. God literally said “i am sending you to pharaoh to bring my people the israelites out of egypt.” if that’s not crystal clear, i don’t know what is.
i realized that the Lord CHOSE me for this. saying that i’m not right for the job is basically saying that i don’t trust His judgement and that He’s wrong and i know better. and duh! God knows better! thank goodness!
another thing:: it wasn’t until pretty recently the Lord was able to adjust my heart posture. i’ve been asking the wrong questions. i’ve been making it all about me instead of Him. He showed me how my perspective needed to shift into “Lord, how are you moving here?” “Lord, what are you doing in and through this?” it’s about Him. all about Him. and that’s a beautiful thing.
really when it comes down to it, it’s so clear that this is what the Lord is pointing me to do. He’s ready to bless it. and yes, i’ll probably fail. but that’s a good thing. that’s how we learn. that’s how we grow.
i listened to a podcast the other day that said“our fruit is dependent on our ability to get pruned. you can only live where you’ve died.”oh shoot. but all growth is rewarded with more pruning! which means more fruit! which means more glory going to God! because God will not be seen for who He is without a demonstration through our lives of what Jesus calls fruit!
i read something else the other day (i’m pretty sure it was an excerpt from john mark pantana’s book “love secrets”) that had to do with how you discern if this is something that the Lord is pushing you to do. and the answer was simple. is there peace or no peace? colossians 3:15 says, “let the peace of Christ rule your heart.” since we have the Holy Spirit, the HOLY SPIRIT, living inside of us, we are one with Christ. we are lead by God, He is a good shepherd. He only leads us to green pastures and peaceful waters along His path (psalm 23!!!). He knows exactly what’s best for us — what we need, when we need it, where we need to go. the only question He has for us is “will you follow me?” which is basically “do you trust me?”
so with that, i’m walking into this next season confident the Lord has brought this to me for a reason. i’m ready to grow, be stretch, and encourage that in others. i’m reading for God to work in me and through me. there’s still a lot of uncertainty about what what’s next will look like, but i think that there is so much beauty in the unknown because that means there’s no expectations! and that’s where the Lord thrives!
here’s the podcast! because it was really really REALLY good and i encourage each and every one of you to listen to it!!
“the heart of the disciple” by bridgetown audio podcast.
alsoooo quick lil fundraising info! for alumni team leading, i need to raise $2,000 to cover everything for my time in gainsville for three months. the fundraiser bar hasn’t updated on my blog yet hahah but it will soon! and i’ll let y’all know when it does! in the meantime, you can donate through my venmo @maddie-chase-4 🙂
i’m really excited that the Lord has put me in another season of fundraising because that’s where the Lord has been able to show up BIG in my life in the past. if He could provide over $16,000 last year, i know He’s got this under control.
i encourage you to spend time with the Lord and ask Him if supporting me financially is something that He’s put on your heart!
also if y’all have any ideas for fundraisers you wanna see, please let me know!!! i’d love to hear them!!
okay that’s all for now. get ready for more blogs & things to come!!
xoxo maddie.
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song of the week:
seasons to seasons by philip shibata
https://open.spotify.com/track/1iexgBmHVgFBmDAeD88zgE?si=EPWLXeEGSbWLNoZ0dCP1ZQ
praise of the week:
um! this opportunity to team lead! my family and friends being so supportive! Jesus! it’s so good!
prayer request of the week:
peace! this is my last week at home and it’s going to be crazy! saying fast goodbyes again and frantically packing and trying to prepare for moving to georgia is a lot! i want to be able to operate from a place of constant rest in the Lord.
lol of the week:
i’m trying to pack everything. it’s a mess. i’m also procrastinating a lil bit, not gonna lie. pray for me haha.
