okay i’ll say it — i’m a feeler.
i’ve been realizing how i would refuse to acknowledge any “negative” emotions — anger, sadness, etc — that i was experiencing because i felt like it was bad and a burden to myself and others to show those feelings. so i’d shove them down. i’d put up a happy positive front. i’d try to hold it together because i was afraid of what it would look like to let it out. i’d literally be angry at myself because i was angry or upset about something else.
i think that our culture as a whole teaches us to numb, to run away from pain because it’s uncomfy. numbing out the “negative” also numbs out all the joy the Lord is wanting to give us.
the Lord spoke into it.
Maddie, you keep avoiding to acknowledge your emotions. i want to hold your hand and walk with you through it. it will be good, i promise. don’t be afraid, i’m right here.
God created emotions. we were made in the image of God. He has emotions, too.
“so God created mankind in his own image…God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” (Genesis 1:27, 31).
i read Mark 3 this morning and Jesus got angry. so if JESUS HIMSELF can experience these emotions, i can understand them and deal with them too. well not just deal with, thrive off of. because they are valid. they are a gift. they are beautiful. they are not a burden.
we were created to feel.
God can speak through them.
something that we as a squad talked a lot about on my race was “don’t let your emotions drive the car.” meaning you should listen to them, but don’t let them control your actions. we have to be able to recognize the difference between emotions and truth. we can’t just act out of how you’re feeling, because there’s often more to the situation that just your emotions.
i think it’s also really important to give yourself permission to feel those emotions as well as walk through those emotions with the Lord.
i think that there’s a beautiful balance of learning how to acknowledge and use your emotions to bring you closer to the Lord. i’m definitely still learning more about this, but i wanted to share what i’ve gotten out of this so far!
also if you have more wisdom in this, PLEASE feel free to tell me! comment! message me! anything! i wanna hear it!
lots of love to all of you.
– mads
