stepping out of month one and into month two of the race has given me a lot of perspective. I left everything behind a month ago to search for Gods purpose for me and let me tell you that it has been such a difficult transition. Language barriers, long days, no service, living community and a lot of growth; God has simply left me speechless.
Did you know growing is actually so hard? I’ve gone through hard times where I’ve been forced to step into a period of growth but intentionally choosing to grow, that is something completely different. Walking into month two my leader Connor gave me these words that not only reminded me of ideas I used to hold close to my heart but also challenged me to grow into God’s plan for my life,
“Ebb and flow. Push and pull, up and down. It all has value. It all has purpose. Will you see it? Even if only part of it shows?”
I have been thinking about those words a lot lately and trying to see God’s hand in everything. I have also been trying to think back to places in time that God was there but I missed it. God is constantly pursuing you if you choose to acknowledge it or not.
Something that sticks out to me most in this quote is the phrase “even if”.
Is there still purpose even if God only reveals part of it?
Is there still purpose even if you don’t see it?
The reality is even if you don’t see the purpose in something God is STILL good. Even if you lose your home or family or friends or your health, even if those things happen God is STILL good and still evident and still revealing truths into your every day life. Sometimes the question God is asking you isn’t what is the purpose but even if you don’t see the purpose in what I am doing am I still enough for you?
Oh man, that has been a common question that has brought me to my knees in front of the Lord, “Madison, am I enough for you?” What if I asked you to leave your whole life behind? and my initial response was fear (which is not of God) but then my second thought was oh, yes Lord because not only are your hands constantly working in my life but they are also holding onto me tight guiding me, comforting me, helping me.
As I am writing this I am reminded of my bee tattoo, if you didn’t know I have a bee tattooed on my shoulder that is matching with a friend of mine from home. We didn’t get bees because they are “trendy” or “cool’ or because we wanted to “save the bees” or because we are joining the Killer Bee Clan (which is what our tattoo artist thought at the time). We got bees because God gave me a vision this time last year that I am like a bee.
Although I may not see my purpose in life or the big picture I am constantly making a difference big or small and my life matters. Sometimes we look at bees and we see them as these super small insignificant creatures in Gods kingdom but in reality bees have such a huge job. They are in charge of spreading pollen and creating beautiful fields of flowers. I am like a bee, spreading love and kindness to everyone I know and even though it may feel like one person at a time I am actually in charge of helping bring people closer to Gods kingdom. I am not insignificant and I might not be able to see the beautiful fields of flowers yet, but I know one day I will. So yes, God you are totally, completely, overwhelmingly enough for me. not just today but everyday after this day. And even though I may not see the whole picture or purpose yet I know one day I will and until that day I will continue to live like a bee, seeking purpose and spreading love.
Sorry this blog was a little all over the place, just some things I have been thinking about recently:)
