Since we’ve been in Cambodia, I keep finding myself sitting and thinking about how weird life is. While my hair is blowing in my face during a tuk-tuk ride I have the realization that I’m actually in Cambodia, living this dream I was dreaming a few years ago.
I’m living thousands of miles away from my loved ones, sweating as soon as I walk out of my room. I’m eating rice for almost every meal. I wash my feet every night before bed, but still get my sheets dirty because the soles of my feet are stained red, and I bike on those red dirt roads to get anywhere and everywhere. I’m actually understanding the chaotic ways of traffic here, and it makes sense! I walk into the street without fear, while motos duck and weave around me. I drink one-dollar street smoothies and they are incredible. I barter better than I ever have before, which is saying something because my dad taught me everything I know and he’s a pro. I don’t freak out when I feel a bug fall on my head and start to walk down my forehead, or when we see too many barking and angry geckos on our walls to count. I sleep to the sound of dogs barking and Mosques announcing. My team and I get to talk to people about Jesus, and build beautiful relationships with locals.
This month I get to sleep in a bed, in a room that has air-conditioning. I live in a guest house hotel that has a beautiful pool. I get to drink cold fresh water. I can flush my tp down the toilet (first time in 7 months!). I have wifi and get to drink coffee for an unreasonably cheap price every day. I get to start sweating as soon as I walk out of my room. I get to spend time with Abba every morning. I get to spend time building relationships with the long term missionaries here at the AIM base, learning about their hearts for service and Abba and the people of Cambodia. I’m learning about intercession and my authority in the spirit. I’m learning about my dreams and my purpose. I’m learning to really love the Word. I’m learning how to evangelize and walk in the boldness of that. I’m learning more about Abba’s heart, every single day.
Cambodia has been such an incredible place. If you can’t tell from above, we have a pretty sweet and easy life this month. We are learning about easy living and the sweetness of letting go of expectations. I’m learning it’s okay to have dirty feet. This month hasn’t been a ‘living out in the bush of Cambodia’ kind of month; and while it has been sweet, the hardships of Cambodia have been heart breaking to see.
My team and I are living in a country that has been broken by it’s own people. Up to two million Cambodians were killed in the span of four years (1975-1979) during the ruling of the Khmer Rouge. People fled their homes in an attempt to find safety.
Now, as I bike the streets of Siem Reap, I see elderly men and women who are amputees. I see brokenness in the people who can’t express their feelings or emotions because their hearts were hardened years ago to protect themselves. I see people fighting to figure out what they believe, while living with the repercussions of exile if they convert their faith. I see generational gaps between mothers and fathers and their children, as young ones grow up not involved in the Khmer Rouge, but are still effected by what happened to their parents.
I live in a country without 911, where it’s not a surprise to see someone who lost their life in a moto accident on the side of the road. Last week we passed an accident I wish I never would have seen; a man lost his life, his family will never be able to see his face again, and that’s normal and heart breaking.
It’s strange to live in a place that I love so much, I love everything about Cambodia, while my heart is simultaneously breaking for its people. I see the Holy Spirit seeping into this country while the enemy tries everything it can to keep him at bay. But even with all the brokenness, this country and these people are beautiful and good, this place and people are Abbas. We are coming from victory and from kingdom and we get to bring that here and make everything we touch look like the Garden of Eden, because we bring Heaven down to earth. How flippin sweet is that! People are finding freedom every day. God is shaking the ground of this country.
This blog is random and jumbled, it doesn’t flow and doesn’t have a big bow to tie all of my thoughts together; this is just what has been on my heart for the past month. I get to love this place and these people and my heart breaks while I do it.
“Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you.” Luke 10:19
This is our authority ya’ll, we have this power.
Abba, thank you for this place and these people. Help us to show you in all we do, help us to walk in the authority that you’ve imparted onto us, to heal and cast out demons. I pray that Holy Spirit would whip through this country like a fire, burning down the enemy and igniting passion and faith for you everywhere He goes. I pray that you would continue to pour your love and grace and protection and blessings out over these people like rains they’ve never experienced before. I pray for your deep roots here. I pray for healing and new eyes. I pray for curiosity and a hunger for you that these people can’t explain. You are so good God, thank you for bringing us here. I love you, I love your people, help me to love them more, to look more like you every day. Amen
