POWERFUL
That’s the word that was engraved on my “Keys for the Journey” necklace I got at the beginning of my time here on the race. This ‘prophetic’ word was prayed over specifically for my journey before it was given to me.
I was really surprised when I got this word! I guess I was expecting a word like “hope” or “love”. “Powerful” seemed to have a lot of weight to it, and I really didn’t know what it meant for me. Was it saying that I was powerful? that didn’t make sense to me. Maybe it meant that God was powerful? But I knew that, right?
I knew I had plenty of time to figure it out, so I just kept wearing it around my neck during sessions here in Georgia and then while doing hurricane relief in LA.
While I was there, another volunteer from Samaritan’s Purse asked me about my necklace. I explained it to her, and she told me that it reminded her of 2nd Timothy 1:7, which says,
“For I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of POWER and love and discipline.”
And right after she told me this, my necklace broke! The same way my friend’s did after God revealed to her what it meant.
I think God was trying to tell me something. But I wasn’t really ready to fully accept that I had that spirit of power inside of me.
If I’m being honest, I came to the race carrying a lot of insecurities, which presented itself in a lot of fear and shame. Sometimes I just didn’t feel worthy or empowered to do the things He was asking me to do. So I kept wrestling with this request from the Lord to let go of fear and shame and walk in power and boldness. That verse stayed in the back of my mind, and my broken necklace stayed at the bottom of my backpack.
But God didn’t stop pursuing me, and He kept asking me to step out. Specifically, in leadership. Then, last Monday night, as I was journaling and rambling on to God about whatever was on my heart, God stopped me and asked me to address my fears about being the raised up team leader. (If you don’t know what that means, the raised-up team leader is the person God highlights on a team three months into the race to basically be the point person, lead team times, etc. after alumni team leaders leave.)
There are two really crazy things about this. One, I’m still very new to listening prayer and hearing the voice of the Lord. Two, I had no idea I was going to be the raised up team leader. None of us had found out yet, and I knew there were many qualified leaders on my team. So I was slightly taken aback and confused. But I listened, addressed my insecurities, told God I wanted whatever He wanted for me, and went on journaling about whatever else was on my heart.
The next day, my alumni team leader and my squad leaders pulled aside and asked me… (you guessed it!!)
…If I was open to being the raised up team leader! They told me God had highlighted me in this season to lead and asked me to ask God about it. So I told my leader what I had prayed the night before, that I wanted what God wanted for me.
What’s so crazy and beautiful about this is that as I walked into this role of leadership I walked away from insecurities and shame and fear. And I’m so so SO blessed with an amazing team of girls who love me so well and celebrated with me when they found out I was raised up. And while they might have been celebrating me stepping into this role, to me they were also celebrating me stepping out of the role I had made myself play before I trusted God to pull me out. And I can’t wait to walk beside and lead these amazing women with a spirit of POWER and of LOVE and of DISCIPLINE when we move to Costa Rica this January.
Wait, did you read that correctly? Yep, that’s my exciting announcement!! My squad actually gets to launch in 2021 to go and serve in San Jose, Costa Rica!! Hopefully, more info on that later, but I’m so excited for this opportunity. Prayers are greatly appreciated! (Also, I’m SO close to being fully funded, so if you feel God calling you to help me launch in January, you can click the donate button in the fundraising bar at the top of this page. Any amount helps!)
Thanks for reading 🙂
Love,
Kenzie
