Hi friends!
My world race journey has become so real lately, and so crazy! Between fundraising, blogging, and getting to know my squad mates, as well as finishing my senior year, applying to schools for after the race, and working at my job, I’ve been so overwhelmed. If I’m being honest, sometimes I feel like the fire that started in my heart when I first applied has been snuffed out. I get discouraged when I see how far away I am from my fundraising goals or when I feel like my prayers are bouncing of the ceiling. It’s so easy to forget why I’m doing this with all the distractions.
I’d like to tell you a quick story, one that if you know me you’ve probably heard because I can’t shut up about it, but that’s okay, you can hear it again :). A couple of summers ago I decided to spend my summer being part of a youth theatre program instead of counseling at my childhood summer camp. Even though being a counselor was something I always saw myself doing, I thought that I’d make more friends and have more fun doing the theatre program. But the day before my sister left for counselor training, I couldn’t sleep, eat, or do anything but think that I should be leaving for that training weekend too. So, I asked my mom to call and see if they could make room for me, and they said they still needed plenty of help.
That summer I became best friends with a little girl in my cabin who had had to grow up too fast. I got to hold her as she cried telling me the things she has gone through, and after a devotion under the stars she cried to me again, this time tears of joy, telling me that she realized that God has always been with her.
I found my passion for service and ministry through that experience. In that moment I knew that I was exactly where God wanted me to be. I’ve counseled every summer after that, and every time I’m there, working with those kids, I feel the same way. It’s the best feeling in the world. I crave that feeling. I want to feel that way the rest of my life.
That’s why I’m going on the race, because I know this is where God wants me to be. This is where God is going to use me. But trusting in God’s plan is not easy. When I doubt what I’m doing, I need to remember why I did it in the first place: because I don’t want to be anywhere except exactly where God wants me to be. So when the fire seems like it’s been put out, I’ll pray for him to light it again. And in the meantime, I’ll fight my way through every moment that isn’t perfect, every moment that I don’t feel that amazing, “exactly where God wants me to be” feeling, knowing that it’s worth it for the moments that I do.
When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 61:2
