Honesty hour…I am so stressed out. I am completely overwhelmed at the number of things I have to do before Thanksgiving and it is to much for me to handle. There have been many tears shed in the last few days. I’ve tried aromatherapy, working out, writing my list of “to do’s” and trying to rely on people that are willing to help, but it all still seems like to much.
Originally I was going to write a blog about how faithful the Lord is and how I am super pumped to be at $5,000 and to have reached my first goal. (I am don’t get me wrong, and the Lord is still really faithful) Just things are cluttering my mind and I can’t seem to find joy and peace in it when everything else is piling up. Instead I decided to be open and honest with ya’ll because we as followers of Christ are called to be open and vulnerable so the Lord can work in us and through us.
So here we go.
Despite what ya’ll may think…I do not have my life together at all.
When I am stressed or anxious I get more emotional (typical girl). Everything is on my mind replaying over and over trying to determine the best way to tackle each task and in turn I am unproductive. Which adds more stress and eventually it effects my sleep. Last year it got so bad that I was never sleeping and I decided to go to the doctor. I got put on anti-anxiety medicine to help me sleep. But looking at it now, I think it is more than just sleeping issues.
It is really easy for me to smile and tuck everything going on away until I am bursting as the seams. I am quick to say “how are you?” but slow to say “I need help”. It’s who I am. I push my stuff aside. I like to tackle things on my own.
I am realizing that I can’t do this life on my own though. I struggle a lot. And I need to learn to ask for help. I need to learn that it’s okay to be open and raw, to show emotion. I have always had this personality of things are great, life’s good, but that’s not always the case and I can be honest with people and it’s okay!
Managing World Race fundraising and prepping, nursing school, a boyfriend, a social life, sleeping, eating, and all the other little things is hard sometimes. Everyone has their own limits and its okay to recognize them. If we don’t know our limits then we too often feel defeated and inadequate. And that is not what the Lord says we are. He says we are loved, unique, and fearfully and wonderfully made! We need to remember these simple truths when Satan is whispering in our ear.
We are so often brought to our lowest points that we have no choice but to turn to God and ask for strength. He is here for us. He can provide so much peace and all we have to do is turn to him. Exodus 14:14 says “the Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still”.
I recently bought a bracelet from one of my fellow June World Racers and it says “Be Still” on it. When I bought it I didn’t know that it was going to have such a significant meaning to me. Even in the crazy overwhelming times, when it seems like we can’t get a break, it is so comforting to know that we can breath and be still and God is still going to be fighting for us.
Things I have learned this month: 1. It is okay to ask for help. 2. Its okay to show emotion and be honest. 3. The Lord will fight your battles just be still and give it all to him. 4. The Lord opens so many doors when you simply talk to Him about things. And finally, 5. That He is my Hosanna- my savior and my rescuer.
Thanks for reading,
Kenzie
PS. Please be praying as I finish up these last couple tests. Over 50% of my grade is left and I have about 4 weeks of classes left.
PPS. If you feel lead to donate click on the donate button above! I am drawing on 11/16 for a gift card to Target but your name will only be in it if you donate $11 by 11/11 for World Race Day!!
