We all get choices in life. Whether it be as simple as what flavor ice cream to get or something as big as leaving on a mission trip for 11 months.
We would not have these choices if we didn’t have a creator like our Father, the provider, shepard, and merciful lord. He has many other attributes and if you don’t know what they are go check out His Word, the Bible.
I have been confronted with many different choices lately. For example, to run today or not to run. Or to go love on kids today or help in the kitchen.
I’ve also had a big choice to make this week as well. I received an email from Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) about a job opportunity in the NICU. This opportunity has been on my heart since I was a little girl. When my youngest brother was born he had a congenital heart defect and he had to undergo 3 open heart surgeries to fix everything. He had his surgeries at CHOP. I remember, at only 4 years old, my real life baby doll was sick and the nurses and doctors there kept him alive. My 4 year old self will never forget drawing his tubes and scars on a fluffy doll to help pass time during his last surgery/ hospital stay.
This is the impact I want to make on other kids. I want to help the patients and also the families during these hard times.
Well with this new curve ball in my journey I began to pray for clarity and answers. For guidance so I would choose the right path, to stay on the Race or go fulfill a dream that isn’t guaranteed to be there when I get home in April.
Excerpt from my journal:
Papa, is NICU the opportunity and place you want me to be?
- Mackenzie I am going to do great things no matter where you are. Remember what you have learned this year so far.
- He’s referring to how this year I have learned that no matter where He takes you He is going to work and do great things. You just have to trust in Him.
Am I going to make a difference there?
- You will make a difference because you have me inside you.
Do you want me to pursue this?
- I want you to pursue where you want. I opened this door you make a choice.
If I took this job would I regret it?
- You may later when it gets hard. You have to be okay with the decision you make. Even in trials, I am still there with a greater plan and purpose. You’re place on this earth isn’t just to work, it’s me and following my will for you. I will give you options and you will have to trust me in them.
Papa, would you be disappointed if I took this job?
- Mackenzie, I didn’t give you the choice to shun you if you chose it. I gave it to you so you would have to step out in faith and trust me on a deeper level.
Papa I am letting fear of man prevent me from coming home.
- All that matters is me. I gave this to you. You are not a quitter and you are not unable to commit. You are following me. My journey for you may not look like others, in fact it won’t. My plan for your life is it’s own. I love you darling.
That’s part of my conversation with the Lord. I wrestled with it for many days and I finally have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to let this opportunity slip between my fingers. The Lord has given me the go ahead and it’s my job to take the leap of faith and trust. Yes I am sad I want to be on the race too, but I have come to believe if the Lord wanted me here he wouldn’t have let this opportunity come about.
With all this being said. I will be leaving the Race. But it is not the end of my missionary career. I fully intend to go spread more kingdom overseas again. But I also want you to know that missions doesn’t only happen overseas. The Lord has given me a passion for the Western Church and I fully intend to act on it.
I love you all and am so blessed by your support and prayers through this journey this far. I ask you to please keep me in your prayers as I look towards this new door opening in my life. Y’all have been such a blessing and the Lord has taught me so much though you guys. So Thank you!
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Feel free to reach out with any questions! I would love to talk and tell you about my time on the field!
Love you!
~Kenzie
