Y’all I don’t even know how to start this blog. I’m gonna be a little vulnerable with all of you, so sit back and enjoy.
What a crazy few days it’s been. I’ve been in Wisconsin for 5 days (I think – I’ve lost track of what day it even is) and I have never been so overwhelmed, yet so full of life. After arriving on Tuesday, my team found out that we would be working at one of the biggest waterparks in the country… life guarding. Excuseeee me. I have been avoiding lifeguarding since I could start working, and now here I am. The last few days have been full of training and testing, moving out of one building just to move into another, and even more training. To say I am exhausted (spiritually, mentally, and physically) would be an understatement.
When I found out that part of my ministry would be lifeguarding, I felt defeated, anxious, angry, and upset. How am I supposed to minister to and share the Gospel with people around me when my eyes can’t leave the water and I have to stay so focused 100% of the time? The Lord and I have argued back and forth quite a bit in the short time I’ve been here.
Yesterday was our first day of work. I was terrified and anxious and just ready to slip into my car and go home. However, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the Lord has a funny sense of humor. Not even an hour after we clocked in, I had to help a small boy in the water. He jumped into a pool he wasn’t supposed to be in, and the current pulled him away from the ladder. He was close enough to me where I could just reach in and grab his hand. As soon as I held out my hand, he grabbed it and wouldn’t let go. I pulled him to the ladder and then pulled him out. The second he was safely out of the water the Lord spoke to loud and clear. In my heart I heard, “Mackenzie. The way this small child reached for your hand to pull him to safety, the way he clung to you in a time of need is how I want you to reach for me when you are in troubled waters.” WHaT. I was reminded of this once again as I jumped in 4 different times to save 4 different little kiddos at the bottom of a slide as they screamed for help. It is vital that we cling to the Lord. If we don’t grasp onto the Lord, then we will grab for something else – something of this world that will leave us drowning. The world has acclimated us to let go and to cling to and turn to anything and everything BUT God. This week I felt like the world was falling apart around me and I became overwhelmingly, overwhelmed. I was clinging to my idea of what I thought this trip would look like and I began to cling to worldy things and ideas instead of Christ. I’ve had to constantly remind myself of what the Lord revealed to me in Guatemala. “I will not call you to something only to leave you disappointed unless you lean on your own understanding.” I came here of Tuesday thinking I would be spending all day everyday vocally ministering to those around me; I was left disappointed when I found out that wasn’t going to be the case and that instead I would be spending a lot of my time working 9-hour shifts at the waterpark. What the HeCk God. This is where the Lord has called me, and although it isn’t what I expected, I am at peace with where He has called me. When I find myself overwhelmed, I reflect on Psalm 142:4, “When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then You know my path.” Instead of being overwhelmed by my circumstances, I should be overwhelmed with how beautiful our God is. If God has called me to something, He will equip me for the jounrey and will be with me every step of the way. Before the Lord brought me here, He knew the path He would be putting me on.
I have no idea what the next 3 1/2 weeks will bring, but I’m ready for it!!! The Lord has tested my faith and revealed some pretty beautiful things to me. I ask that you hardcore pray for my team and myself as we are still working through and processing some different thoughts and feelings over the next few days.
With much love,
your Jesus lovin’, Adventures In Mission missionary, and newest Kalahari Resort lifeguard, Kenzie (wowza that’s a mouth-full) <3
