Good morning from Atlanta!
You might be asking yourself “Kenz, why aren’t you in Africa yet?”. Technically, we were supposed en route to Johannesburg early this morning. But, it’s 3:50 and we are still in Atlanta. And that’s okay! Because it’s a cool story that I’ll get into later
I just spent the last three days at training camp (with about 100 other people going on their own trips) where I got spiritual and cultural training, took bucket showers, and spent lots of time getting to know my teammates. But more than any of that, I got to know God and the Holy Spirit in new ways.
This weekend I experienced the most absolutely INSANE Holy Spirit thing ever. Now I’m pretty insecure about “hearing from the Lord” because I never hear words. My biggest prayer was to just hear something. What I’ve learned and what I’m continuing to learn is that hearing God doesn’t just mean an audible voice, it comes in many forms like images or thoughts or impressions.
For me, worship is always the way I experience God the most because I’m a pretty emotional person. The worship at camp was unreal, but i felt a little left out the first night because it looked like people were really feeling things and I was kind of just there worshiping (which is still great). People were really getting into it and i think sometimes I get pretty insecure about the way I worship because I worry about what people will think. I’ve always thought the idea of just not caring at all is beautiful and amazing and so what God deserves. Anyways, second night rolls around and I really asked God all day to fill me with his Holy Spirit. And while we were worshipping, I got this really crazy image of a nation of people surrounded around a throne and there was one person who fell to their knees alone in the whole crowd. Then everyone followed suit and it was a nation of people on their knees before a throne. And I started getting that feeling where my heart was racing because I needed to share it with everyone!
…but I didn’t. I was too scared
But the story gets better! Last night I got the same image during worship and the same heart racing feeling. But this time I did something about it. It was like someone was controlling my feet as I made my way up to Jeremy (the boss man) to ask if I could say something over everyone. And as I stepped on the stage to speak, I didn’t know what I was going to say but I was filled with the Holy Spirit and I wasn’t afraid. I just let the Lord speak through me and it was all about how we don’t need to be afraid of what people think of us. And how worship is never about us, it’s all about God.
It’s not about us! We don’t need to carry fear, shame, or insecurity because those are not from God; God wants to take those things away.
After I spoke, I got to pray over everybody and declare freedom over anyone who felt fear. And honestly, that part was all Holy Spirit man, like I had no clue what I was saying. But I felt like one of those super hype pastors when they get really excited about Jesus. I came back to worship and my body felt like it was alive with electricity. I don’t know man.
Want to know what’s even crazier? As I was standing back after speaking, Ronny (the coolest dude you will ever meet) came up to me. Now Ronny knows how I’ve been struggling with hearing God and how all I want is to hear him. Ronny came up and he told me that he received the same impression in that God deserves all the worship, not us. But he felt like God was saying it wasn’t his message to say and that after he heard that, I got on stage.
Like what?
So even if I thought it was all a message I made up in my head, it’s not true because he heard the same thing and confirmed it! Like come through Holy Spirit!
God can use you. God will speak to you. Take it from me. And it’s all for his glory, not mine.
Like it says in the title, I’m recapping from the airport floor. We stayed over at the airport for an early flight in the morning. However, that flight got cancelled minutes after we got into the bus. So we rolled up to the airport with no flights. But man does the Lord provide. At 8pm tonight, we are off to Johannesburg on a DIRECT FLIGHT. You heard me. Direct. Not a two layover flight with 20 hours of flying and several hours of layovers, a direct flight. Praise Jesus.
If you want to pray for me, I could use some prayer for developing deep relationships (ya girl is introverted) and then just peace. And safety too
We have about 4 more hours till take off. Next time I catch up here, I’ll be on a brand new continent. Woohoo!
