7:58 AM
October 2nd, 2019
Hello all! Today is my last day here in Nicaragua, as tomorrow, we will be traveling all day starting at 4am to get to Costa Rica.
Here in Nicaragua, I have learned many little things, all very important. But something I’ll never forget is the innate ability to love. The people of Cicrin Orphanage have not only hosted us, but cared for us, fed us, shown us grace, and loved on us for a whole month. They have shown me that regardless of language, location, ethnicity, circumstance, or situation, His love will shine through on us.
I have formed so many ridiculously sweet bonds with the children and the tias and tios that help this place run. I’ll never forget the laughs I have shared with them and the tender moments between us. One of my absolute favorite parts about being the team translator is that I get pulled into every conversation between my team and the people here.
One thing God has shown me very clearly here is that His presence goes on, even when I’m not there. He showed me His bigness while also revealing to me that He has the ability to develop an indescribable closeness with all of His people. I have seen Him in places I had never truly seen Him before, and I have been given a clarity that I was lacking.
I found out pretty harshly during the early weeks that my relationship with God was built on my own comfort. I was able to see Him clearly in my life back home because I had my chosen group of friends, my family, my church. Because I was in control. But when I got here, and all of that was gone, I lost the feeling I had grown so used to. I asked God if He had abandoned me, did He even care that I was here? His silence showed me that when everything around me falls apart, He will always be the only thing standing. My solace and my saving grace.
I also had the sweet opportunity to learn by teaching. My leader told me that a great leader can only lead well if they know how to follow. So, when my teammates came to me with problems or issues, I suddenly gave them advice that was not my own. The Holy Spirit used me to tell them what they needed to hear, while also allowing me to hear it. It was an amazing opportunity to be a witness to some of His works.
I often tend to think that if I am not fixing a problem, it won’t get fixed. But God has shown me this month that without me, life goes on. And by thinking that things will fall apart, the second I don’t have my hand in something, I am doubting His ability and bigness. I have been shown that His work will be done, even if I am not the one to complete it.
This place will have a piece of my heart forever and always.
Cicrin, tú tienes mi corazón. Siempre.
