It’s been a couple months since my acceptance for the World Race and although I knew it would be an overwhelming process, I don’t think I was quite as ready to handle the day-to-day emotional roller coaster of preparations as I thought I was.
Most days I am 100% certain that this is where God is leading me; I know that all the doors He is opening and closing and the changes He is making in my life are girding me precisely for this Race. But other days doubt creeps in. The fear of failure and the anxiety of the unknown exacerbate the burden of preparation and weigh down on me.
I know He uses the least likely of persons as His heroes but how will seven months ever be enough time to equip me? How do I stand resilient to all the doubts and fears that Satan bombards me with? The answer is this- I must take myself out of the equation!
Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.” Luke 9:23-24
When I spend time thinking about how I’m going to raise the money I need or what I’m going to do to spiritually equip myself, I don’t leave any room for faith or for God to work. I have to remember that God doesn’t need me to accomplish anything! By denying myself, I am handing every part of me and aspect of my life over to Him; the responsibility of providing for all my needs is no longer mine, but His! I must remind myself of this daily. He is my Rock and my Salvation, the ultimate Healer and Provider. He is ever available and ever present, whom then shall I fear?
