Coming in to Asia I asked the Lord to keep me humble.
I heard from past racers that seeing the hard things becomes “normal.” I personally never wanted to become numb to my surroundings and the experiences these countries had to offer.
Month two in Asia I gave up my phone to stay present on the race and to be “here” with the Lord. This is also the month that the Lord brought up my entitlement. You don’t realize what you feel entitled to until you don’t have it anymore. This far into the race I had given up materialistic things I had felt I “needed.” I did however, find comfort in the little things. In Myanmar my team had some comfort such as, real showers, a toilet, coffee, and a bed. What I didn’t realize was going from having those things in Myanmar, and then coming back to Thailand, where we use a hose to shower, squatty potties, and mats on the floor. I started feel a lot of disappointment. At this point in the race I don’t walk into a situation with any expectations because anything can change. So, why was I so disappointed?
Something I’ve walked through on the race is that I don’t “deserve” anything. Yeah, I’m aware of how harsh that sounds, but I’m not in Thailand sleeping on the floor because it’s comfortable. I want to grow. I want what the Lord has for me, not what I have for myself.
God created the world, He created you and I, and this galaxy for His glory.
It’s wild that we have a relationship with the guy that created the very existence of everything, and we can literally ask Him anything.
This last month God revealed a lot to me with the family I had the privilege to meet in Myanmar. Materialistically they were poor. Standing on the outside of this family you would see what they don’t have. However, when you spend your days with them you see exactly how rich they are in His kingdom. Watching them walk out their faith and seeing the humility they carried was shaking the very foundation I had. I began to realize how much I took from my Father. How I start my prayers with “I need” or “I want.” Forgetting the very reason we were created is to glorify His name.
Staying humble has kept me aware of myself and my actions. We were made in Gods image, so I want to carry myself in a way that reflects Jesus. To do that is to surrender everything. I am laying down all entitlement and pride and I will practice walking out the humility the Lord has taught me. In any walk there is always a few stumbles along the way, but God sees the obedience. The sacrifice. It’s just the first step that’s the hardest.
