[…continued from PART 1]
On our way back to WonGen, Michelle had a Spirit-filled conversation with MP, who is also curious but does not yet know the Lord. And I had an amazing talk with PK!! Just when I thought that maybe today wasn’t the day after all, she started venting and telling me how frustrated and confused she felt about everything. The Lord set a perfect stage for me to share my own experiences in struggling as a pre-med and in trying to find purpose.
I hadn’t even mentioned God at this point, but PK told me that she loves knowledge and thinks it’s cool that God made all this stuff. (!!) She went on to say that she didn’t really want to be a doctor and felt no desire to help people. She often just goes through the motions but can’t find motivation to do it. For about a year, she has been wrestling with confusion and lack of purpose. The one good thing about being a med student was that she’d make a lot of money later, which she could use to travel and eat (two of her favorite things). But of course, finding time to do that might be a problem as a doctor. Still, she claimed she would rather have the money and not enough time than have the time but no money to do it. But I asked- what if she had lots of money and even time but still no purpose? Would she be happy?
No.
But people here in Thailand don’t fundraise, she said, implying that if she didn’t make a lot of money she couldn’t do what she wanted to do. So I shared my experiences about fundraising. I told her how God provides all the money you need. And a lot of the time He uses people you don’t even know (hello, anonymous donors!!). It’s not about fundraising, but about trusting that God will give you just what you need. Because I wasn’t even actively fundraising when I received so many anonymous donations. It was all the Lord. PK listened and didn’t say anything in response, but I could tell it was making her think again.
And I told her that I have no money to sustain myself right now, but I’m happier than ever. I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life after the Race, but I know I’m supposed to be here. My purpose lies in Jesus, and that’s all that matters. No matter what job I have or where I am, I’m living to love God and lead people to His love. I told her that I’m more free than ever. Again, she didn’t know what to say because it seemed counterintuitive.
She told me that friends at WonGen had been saying that God wants her to be a doctor, which is why she has been trying to push through in spite of her struggles. But I encouraged her to ask God directly by herself. Do you want me to be a doctor? Do you not? Whatever You want, please show me clearly and confirm it. I shared how God had answered that for me. I warned that it’s usually not fast or easy, but He will show up. And that’s why I’m here today. I’m here in Chiang Mai, traveling and doing missions, all because He answered me.
Before she had to leave, I asked to pray for her, and she was not only willing but also very grateful. She then said, Can I ask you for a favor? … I know you’re leaving this week, but can we still skype and you can teach me more English? So awesome!! I’m still so impressed at her initiative. I didn’t mention God first; she did. I didn’t ask for a lunch date with a Bible; she did. I didn’t suggest staying in touch via skype first; she did. Ultimately, it was the Spirit that made her heart fertile ground yearning to grow new life. And I’m so grateful that I’m able to speak into her life using my unique story.
It’s crazy that the Lord confirmed my purpose here in Thailand with the fact that I have a purpose in life, and I can spur someone on to have that same purpose. My heart just grew tenfold for her, and I can’t wait to say in touch and hear about her conversations with God. I can’t wait to see where she’ll go, because I know that deep down the Lord has placed in her a desire to help people. He is totally going to awaken her passions and give her the boldness to stand up for His will in her life. It’s so exciting!!! And did I mention that she’s currently reading Romans on her own? Seriously, the Lord is pursuing her heart in beautiful ways. Thank You, Jesus! You are my purpose and my prize, here and everywhere.
(*initials changed for blog)
