I’m leaving Gainesville and heading to Seoul, S. Korea in about 4 days. Indefinitely.
Yet again, another season is expiring and a fresh one in a completely new setting awaits me. I’m finishing my time here in CGA- a beautiful and beautifully difficult 8 months. For my own journey I could not have picked a better landing zone after my Race. Though it did feel for a moment that I’d gone from being a hot mess on the Race to a hotter mess here, it was really just growth in self-awareness. Apparently, at the start of the Race, I was blissfully unaware of myself. But praise the Lord for growing awareness in tandem of both my sinful nature and the true self He created me to be. The grace of Jesus just tastes sweeter the more it sinks in how little I truly deserve it.
I’m so thankful for a lot of things here, and I never thought it would be this hard to leave. Heck, I’m the girl that was upset when Jesus told me I’d have to be in the States for longer than a few months after the Race. I really thought I couldn’t do life again in the U.S. post-Race. Well, it’s not about the place. It’s about the people and the heart.
Of course, transience is something I’d gladly accepted as a lifestyle for now and the foreseeable future. I’ve been well aware that my journey of losing myself and finding myself in Jesus would likely take me to places I would not have chosen.
But while I’ve been fully aware and even more than okay with this transience, it’s somehow harder now than ever before to leave. Leaving for the Race was easy because I had no other choice or desire and I was thrilled about an adventure. Ending the Race and coming to CGA was also relatively easy. I kind of knew and desired what I was getting into- a community of Racers/Adventures people and more worship.
Now, going to Korea is a different story. Embarking on an ask-the-Lord trip with a go-where-the-breeze-takes-you mentality seemed ethereal and perfect months ago. But shoot, it takes courage. I can’t say how many times I’ve wondered, ‘what in the world am I doing….is this really happening…’ this past week or two. Invitation = freedom = entrusted with responsibility = risk = faith.
Don’t get me wrong. I am most certainly excited about the new opportunities and people, the divine works the Lord will bless me to be a part of there. But part of me has been legitimately scared. I’m having to find hope and trust more than ever, it seems, because this is really the biggest leap into the unknown I’ve ever chosen to take. I’ve bought a one-way ticket to Korea, and God has still not revealed many details about my time there, including my length of stay. Yet an odd peace has surrounded the situation ever since I felt led to go…
SO. As I try to make sense of everything amidst the see-you-laters that are terrifyingly soon and the I-don’t-knows that will discover their fates thereafter, here are a few things I want to remind myself that I’m super grateful for:
*For the Lord’s presence. Emmanuel, always with me. Holy awesomeness, within and around me!
*For being now in the most inadequate and yet wholly sufficient state possible- completely at the Lord’s disposal. Desperate, because I both foolishly and wisely always go back to praying for that desperate hunger.
*For Jesus calling me to be a bridge of unconditional love in the nations. For my unique and irreplaceable role in the Kingdom.
*For rich, deep friendships formed here in CGA- expansion of my precious Kingdom family.
*For an incredible time in Guatemala- a perfect combination of physically taxing, restful, worshipful, fun, solo, and relational time. (And for the strength on those intense hikes in Guatemala that culminated in mountaintop prayer, worship, and declarations!)
*For love of music, for the freedom and ability to worship Him through music! Seriously, what would my life be without it…
*For a victory that has been won for me, once and forevermore. Never have to doubt my status with Jesus. He’s not in two minds about me, and He fights for me.
*For God’s impeccable timing and sovereignty. For His wisdom and knowledge, so far beyond mine.
*For His LOVE that is pure and everlasting and good. A trustworthy love. A love that’s worth it all.
*For God’s faithfulness to finish what He started. He doesn’t tease me or disappoint me.
*For His heartbeat, His promises, and His desires that will propel worship, intercession, or any type of ministry I engage in.
*For the people and greatness already prepared for me in Korea and this next blessed season.
*For your prayers and continued financial support that have allowed me to go to Guatemala and now to hop on a plane to South Korea! (I leave May 1!!)
THANK YOU for being an important part of my journey and my story. I pray that each day would come with an increased awareness of and openness to God’s love for you! I’d love if you’d continue being a part of my journey!!
[I’m looking to raise $3000 more at this point for the Korea/Asia endeavor, to cover the foreseeable future/this summer. That would be for remaining flights, ground transport, food, lodging, and other ministry costs!]
Here are ways to get involved:
**prayer!! (provision, direction, health, favor)
**spread the word/share the link on World Race Korea, especially to any Korean nationals (age 21-35), who would interested in applying!
**one-time donation or monthly pledge/partnership (both tax-deductible) via:
+my blog account donation link
+setting up automatic monthly payments
+mailed checks with ‘Michelle Kwak’ in memo to:
Adventures in Missions / P.O. Box 742570 / Atlanta, GA 30374-2570
**personal donation via PayPal, Google Wallet, bank transfer, etc. (e-mail me about this!)
